Pacific Rim - Godzilla on Meth

Haven't you always wanted to know what Godzilla's meth babies would look like?  Watch Pacific Rim.  Pac Rim is a Guillermo del Toro film which if you know his work means lots of action and interesting creatures.  (Some of del Toro's films include Blade 2, Pan's Labyrinth, The Hobbit, Hellboy 2, and Mama.)  This movie stars my husband, Idris Elba, and Charlie Hunnam (yeah, I don't know who he is either).  It is basically a movie about robots, Jaegers, controlled by two individuals who have a vulcan mind meld, or drifting, and try to protect the world from aliens, Kaijus, who come to the planet through a dimension that is in the earth's core.

These Kaijus are like a cross between several different dinosaurs.  In fact, they believe that these aliens were the original dinos, but couldn't handle the atmosphere, so they left until we screwed it up with all of our CO2 emissions into the atmosphere.  The Jaegers are like a cross between gigantic Robocops and morphed Power Rangers.  The fighting between these two are epic and would put the Godzilla versus King Kong battle to shame.  Del Toro must be a huge fan of Godzilla because this movie is very reminiscent of those old movies even going so far as to have a large chunk of the movie being set in Hong Kong.

There's so much action in the movie, that it's often times hard to keep up with some of the fighting scenes.  I did like the hand to hand combat, and the minimal use of guns and bombs.  It was very exciting to see the evolution of the Kaijus, waiting to see what they would do next in battle.  The action is enough to keep you entertained because the acting jobs surely will not.  Idris Elba is one of two A list actors in the movie.  Ron Perlman is the second and has a very small role.  The rest of these new faces have a lot of work to do.  Although somewhat thrilling, Pacific Rim is one of those movies that you should wait to see on tv.  It's just all right; amusing enough to watch on a Sunday afternoon, but I don't know if it was compelling enough to spend the money to see it at the theaters even if you are intrigued by Godzilla's meth babies.

The Lone Ranger - Was Johnny enough?

The Lone Ranger is a movie based on a fictional character from a 1930's radio show which became a tv show and several feature films.  The only thing I remember about the tv show was that it was in black and white.  I'm not really into westerns, so it didn't peak my interest.  That is probably why this is the first of the films that I've seen as well.  The only thing that peaked my interest this time is Johnny Depp as Tonto.  I'm not sure if he was enough for me to say this was a good movie.

Before I go any further, let me first say that I'm not so sure that this movie should be rated PG13.  There was a lot of violence, blood (I mean dude cut out and ate someone's heart!), prostitutes, decapitations, cross dressing and slightly confused villains (not that there's anything wrong with drag queens), and lots and lots of death.  Although it wasn't gory, I just thought some of the subject matter should have caused the rating to be a bit higher.  But I digress...

Johnny Depp is the only reason I wanted to see The Lone Ranger.  I've been a fan of his since 21 Jump Street, and having Helena Bonham Carter in the movie (those two must be a package deal because they are in everything together and I love it) was a bonus to me.  I don't know who Armie Hammer is, and this movie didn't really make me want to either even though he's the star of the show as The Lone Ranger.  Mr. Depp was his usual quirky self which of course kept this sort of dark film, light, but he wasn't enough to make the movie a really good movie.

A large part of the problem is that the storyline is really really dark and kind of disturbing.  After John Reid, his brother, and all the other Texas Rangers are murdered, John decides to get justice with the help of a spirit horse and Tonto.  He becomes the Lone Ranger in the process.  On top of that, the "white man" is trying to take land from the Comanche Indians to build a railroad through their land for commerce and profit.  Not to mention, there is lots of murder of Indians for the sake of mining pure silver with the blood, sweat, and tears of asians help  Oh, and there's that sadistic cannibalistic villain who is orchestrating all of this.  Doesn't that sound like a Disney movie?  Well, it is.  This movie really tells part of the tale of how the native American population was decimated for money and land, and how sad that is.  It's really hard to laugh when all of this it happening.

This movie isn't bad, but it isn't good.  It's just, alright.  You will laugh a little and some of the action is good, but I just couldn't get past the underlining story.  It could just be me.  You can go see it for yourself, but remember how Will Smith's Wild Wild West was?  You could have gone your whole life without seeing that western, and you can go your whole life without seeing this one, and you'll be just fine.  Don't get sucked in my Johnny Depp.  He's just not enough this time.

Despicable Me 2 - Definitely Cute

Despicable Me is one of my all-time favorite animated movies, second only to The Lion King!  Those darn minions are just too darn cute and funny.  I really hope after Despicable Me 2, they get their own movie because at one point, I laughed so hard at them I cried.  What makes them so adorable and hilarious?  Is it because they are yellow?  Because they speak some strange french Klingon?  Or is it because their comedic timing is always just right on point?  Whatever the reason is, they steal the show.  

As to not give away too much, in this sequel Gru (Steve Carrell) has given up being a villain, but the Anti-Villan League, the AVL, needs his help to find a villain that has stolen a drug that turn minions into indestructible killers.  He's been teamed up with Lucy (Kristen Wiig) from the AVL to help solve the case.  In the meanwhile, everyone is trying to hook Gru up with a date especially his 3 girls because the super cute Agnes needs a mom.  And, the answer to both of these situations is right in front of them.  

It was really going to be hard to top the first one, and I'm not so sure they tried.  I think the powers that be said, "let's just stick to the same formula and make a funny movie."  Which, I think they did.  The storyline, albeit extremely predictable, was easy to follow for young and old, was fast paced as to not lose the kids' interests, and reinvented some of the old jokes.  I think everyone enjoyed themselves.  The kids laughed at the slapstick comedy, and the adults laughed at the youthfulness of the movie and the little adult innuendoes.  There was a minion dressed as Issac from "The Love Boat", and in their layer, there was stripper pole.  Kids wouldn't get that, but I found it extremely comical!

I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I'd watch it again and again like I do the first one, and I'll probably add this one to my dvd collection like I did the first one.  Honestly, it's better than Monsters University to me.  Go see it.  Take the kids, or not.   Whatever you do, be ready to laugh at all those cute little minions from the beginning until the credits are almost finished rolling. 

White House Down - Action, Comedy, Channing, and Jamie

Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx make and excellent duo as evident in their appearance on Jimmy Kimmel after the Oscars.  See video above.  I had no doubt that a movie with them together would be great, and I wasn't disappointed.  White House Down is a moving starring Tatum and Fox.  It's full of action, comedy, and sexy.

Channing Tatum is one of the sexiest men on any screen anywhere.  Very high on the CGI list.  (Sorry ladies, his clothes stay on, but he is in a wife-beater for the majority of the movie.) While he's not the best actor on the planet, he definitely is improving, and I don't mind watching him while he learns to get it right.   Tatum plays an aspiring Presidential Secret Service agent who happens to be at the White House during an attack with his political savvy 11-year-old daughter.  He's on a mission to find her because they get separated, save the President, and his country.  This isn't usually the type of movie Channing does.  He's normally in dramas, feel-good movies, and movies where he's half naked.  Now he can add action-movie star to his credentials.

Jamie Foxx is not hard on the eyes either, although his make-up is terrible in White House Down.  It took away a little of his sexy.  Moving on...he's an Academy Award winning actor, Grammy winning singer, and an hilarious award winning comedian.  This isn't his best acting by any means, but he gets to be the President, and who doesn't want to play that role?  Foxx plays the 47th POTUS, who is in the White House when it's attacked by lunatics.  He too, has to find his inner action-hero to get out of the situation and stop someone from trying to start WW3.

Other famous faces are seen in the movie such as Maggie Melting Face Gyllenhaal, head secret service agent; Richard Jenkins, Speaker of the House; and James Woods, head of the President's detail just to name a few.  They all play key roles in the film, but no one is really looking at them because it's all about Tatum, Foxx, and the little girl (Joey King) playing Tatum's daughter, Emily.  She's a little scene stealer.  Emily is one tough cookie who saves the day.  SOILER ALERT:  Yes, an 11 year-old will actually be the hero.

I like movies with non-stop action, and White House Down definitely delivers.  It has moments of comedy, the storyline is plausible, and there are two unlikely heroes that make you smile deep down inside.  You really do leave feeling good at the end.  Olympus Has Fallen is still the best of the White House destruction movies, but because I want to Channing all over your Tatum, I'll put White House Down in a distant second.  I enjoyed it, and I think man or woman, you will too.

Monsters University - It barely gets a passing grade

Pixar and Disney has been a great combination for the last decade when it comes to making great movies such as Toy Story and Monsters Inc, but I'm not so sure if the dynamite duo did it this time with Monsters University.  Monsters University is the prequel to Monsters Inc starring Billy Crystal and John Goodman as the monsters Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan.  This movie tells the story of how the two met, formed their unbreakable bond, and become the leading scarer team at Monsters Inc.

My major problem with the movie is the length.  With previews it's slightly over two hours long.  That's a long time for a kids movie.  The storyline is also quite slow, so slow my mom fell asleep a couple of times and I almost did too.  There was a huge chunk of the movie I felt could have been cut out.  I understand that it laid a foundation, but it could have been done in a more condensed fashion to get to the more entertaining part.

I'm sure the adult audience wasn't that entertained.  Everyone, except my grandmother who said she liked it, looked like they were ready for a nap.  The kids appeared intrigued, but I didn't hear a lot of giggles and laughter from them.  The storyline was a bit adult with bullying, fraternity life, life changes,  and such.  I'm not so sure if the kids really got it.  There weren't a lot of jokes or slapstick comedy, so that didn't help with kid's enjoyment.  They just kind of stared at the screen and waited for it to end.

Monsters University passes with a C-.  It didn't live up to the greatness of Monsters Inc and what Pixar and Disney is capable of doing.  I actually like the short film before the movie called The Blue Umbrella.  It was really cute, and much more entertaining.

White House Down next week starring I wanna Channing all over you Tatum and Jamie Foxx!

World War Z - The Zombie Apocalypse is no joke.

I'm really not into zombie movies.  I find them kinda dumb.  The idea of the ravenous undead seems quite unreal to me, but something about World War Z intrigued me.  Maybe is was the very handsome Brad Pitt. (I never really thought he was that good looking, but maybe the long hair, unshaven beard, zombie fighter did something to me.)  Maybe it was the storyline or the theatrics.  Who knows?  But, what I do know is that I'm glad I saw this movie because ish got real in this one!

World War Z is about a former UN detective who tries to protect his family and the world by trying to find out where the zombie virus began in order to find a cure.  He travels all over the world while watching zombies quickly destroy it.  In the end, her finds an answer to the problem, and the world is spared from destruction...for now (hoping for a sequel and I don't even like sequels).  This movie is based on a book of the same name.  Both delve into what part we play as a people that causes this, and if we'd listened to one another at the beginning, could this virus be contained?  Those deep thoughts don't linger in the movie because there is so much action going on that you don't have time to breath, let alone think.  

I love movies that are action packed from jump!  This movie is one of those, and the action never stops until the credits role.  It's fast-paced, exciting, and serious yet fun.  The zombies take over New York and Israel in a matter of minutes which makes me think, what would I do if the Zombie Apocalypse popped off today?  All I can say is be ready, but if it goes down anything like it did in World War Z, we are NOT going to be!  Go see this movie.  I think you'll like it, and afterwards, get your ammo ready because the Zombie Apocalypse is no joke!

Monsters University tomorrow with mi Madre!!!

Man of Steel - Do we really need yet another Superman movie?

Since 1951, there have been seven Superman movies.  My inner geeky fat boy has seen five out of the seven, and at this point, he doesn't really feel the need to see another one, but I did.  Man of Steel is the last installment of this overly done superhero movie.  It stars a very handsome Henry Cavill and Amy Adams.  I'll just let you know from jump that I didn't like Man of Steel, but I'm also one of the few who didn't like The Avengers.  They are very similar movies, so it's not surprising that I wasn't entertained.

Too much of this and that: Man of Steel is 2 hours and 23 minutes long.  Not to mention the 15 to 20 minutes of previews.  That's almost three hours at the theater which is way too long.  This movie is way too slow for us to be sitting there for so damn long.  It had way too many flashbacks as well.  They should have just went in chronological order.  It may have sped up the movie a bit.  It's almost 2 hours before the real action starts.  Imagine a theatre full of pre-teens trying to sit still for 2 hours before anyone starts fighting.  A scary thought, I know.  It's tough because it started out so well giving us a little action at the beginning and then nothing for at least 90 minutes; just a lot of backstory.   The story itself wasn't new, but I liked the sci-fi spin on the theatrics.  A little less backstory and flashbacks, and more action, and this movie is salvageable.

Talk about all-star cast:  Maybe they called in the big guns because they knew the story wasn't great.  Henry Cavill is Kal-El.  I need to see more of him because he's a good actor and very easy on the eyes.  He looked great in the suit to say the least.  Amy Adams and her horrible pig nose is Lois Lane.  She's a great actress who really needs a nose job.  (I can't be the only one bothered by it.)  Kevin Costner and Diane Lang are Mr. and Mrs. Kent.  Russell Crow is Jor-El, and Laurence Fishborn is Perry.  Wow!  I know.  The cast budget must have been out of control.  They'll at least make that back in ticket sales today.  Too bad all that star power wasn't enough to make this good.

The bad arse:  I love a great villain.  He or she is often more important to me than the hero.  Henceforth, I need the person cast to be on point.  Michael Shannon has made of career of being a bad guy.  He is perfection as General Zod, a man hell bent on restoring Krypton at Earth's expense to his likeness down to his last breath. But, even better than him, is side chick, Faora.  Love her.  I love a bad bish, and this chick didn't play.  Her putting a beating on fools was my favorite part of the movie.  Sadly, there wasn't enough of her kickin' arse and taking names.

The suit:  There's nothing more iconic in our society than Superman's blue and red suit with that red cape.  I'm gonna get really girls here and say it was a great suit, and super cute.  Henry looked really good in it.  The design was very masculine.  I would have loved it without the cape, but I understand why it was necessary.  I liked the direction they went with the red and blue.  It was modern, yet it paid homage to the classic.  Nice job there.

The Truth:  This will be the number one movie at least for a week.  The theater was packed and sold out at least until the late night show.  But, just because a movie is full doesn't make it good.  Man of Steel was just too slow and lacking action.  I won't need to see it again, but you go see it and decide for yourself.  I just feel like, if you've seen one Superman movie, you've seen them all.

Next week: World War Z (Brad Pitt gotta work to pay for all them damn kids.)