Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Grudge Match - 12 rounds too many

My family has a tradition of going to the movies Christmas night, and trying to support a black movie if possible.  We tend to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve, go our separate ways on Christmas Day, and then come back together for a movie that evening.  I've missed a few years living in NY, but I happened to make it home this year, and this year we decided to see Grudge Match starring 70-year-old Robert De Niro and 67-year-old Sylvester Stallone.  Let's be clear, my family only wanted to see it because of Kevin Hart, not the two old, wrinkly, shirtless men.

Grudge Match is about two boxers passed their prime coming together to settle a 30 year old grudge match.  During this process, Razor, played by Stallone, rekindles an old flame played by Kim Basinger who has aged well, and Kid, played by De Niro, connects with his son and grandson after 30 years.  During all of this, Kevin Hart's character, Dante, is trying to kick start his promoting career with this silly fight because who really wants to see two old men battle it out just to say they finally settled things?

This isn't a bad movie; it's just a long movie.  It has 12 rounds too many.  The point could have been made around round three.  But no, they had to go on and on and introduce new information in the 10th round.  It's less than two hours long, but it felt like a three hour movie which isn't very good.  It was slow in a lot of parts, and it took forever to get to the actual boxing match.  The only saving grace is Kevin Hart and Alan Arkin who plays Razor's long-time and ailing but comical trainer.  Kevin Hart is hilarious without even opening his mouth, and Alan Arkin plays the old guy very well...because he is.

I don't understand why Hollywood won't let old stars go, but I guess they gotta make a living somehow.  Hollywood keeps letting actors fight in the 12th round when their career should have been knocked out around round six just like in Grudge Match.  Well Stallone still looks pretty decent, but neither him nor De Niro should ever be shirtless and sweaty on film ever again in life.  I'd only watch this movie again just to laugh at Kevin Hart, other than that it was 12 round KO to me.

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