Oz the Great and Powerful - The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My!

Wicked is one of my favorite broadway musicals.  I love the songs, the set design, and the spin on the classic Wizard of Oz tale.  One of these days, I'm going to read the books.  Because The Wizard of Oz is such and classic and because I love Wicked, I was extremely eager to see Oz the Great and Powerful.  Too bad my eagerness wasn't enough to help me enjoy this movie.  As of now, I think I've found the worst movie of 2013.

Let me start with the good part of this movie:  due to my busy weekend schedule, I had to watch it in 3D because that was the only time that fit.  I don't usually like 3D movies mostly because I feel it doesn't add much to the movie, and it's a waste of money.  I got to see this for free because of my "frequent flyers" card for movie goers.  The 3D aspect of the movie went really well with the visually appeal of the set design and color scheme.  I'm sorta interested to see if the movie was as stunning in 2D.  The director, Sam Raimi, did a great job bringing the magical land of OZ to life.  The other aspect of the movie I enjoyed was the storyline.  We learn how Oscar Diggs, played by James Franco, becomes the Wizard of Oz, and why he tricks people into believing he's so powerful when he's really not.  We also learn why the wicked witch, played by Mila Kunis, is so wicked and how she becomes green.  The movie is based on the book by the same name, so I'm assuming if I'd read the book I'd known that already.  (It's on my Kindle.  I just haven't gotten to it yet.)  You would think with such a good storyline, great cast (Michelle Williams is Glenda the Good), and great visuals this movie would be great, but to no avail.

What really makes this movie so terrible is the acting.  Someone told these seasoned actors to act like idiots and be cheesy like the original movie starring Judy Garland.  It felt like I was watching a flashier version of the 1939 film.  Any second, I thought someone was gonna say, "...lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!"  Cheesy is the best way I can describe the acting.  They were all way over the top, and it came off silly instead of entertaining.  Mind you, this is a PG rated movie so I guess they were trying to appeal to the kids, but kids aren't idiots.  You don't have to act so horribly to keep their attention.  I guess the movie did it's job.  The children in the movie theater laughed and the older gentleman in front of me chuckled quite a few times.  I smiled ONCE!

If you are going to see this movie, please know that with previews it's about 2.5 hours long.  When a movie isn't very good, that's hella long!  I wouldn't watch this again even if it was on ABC or NBC and nothing else was on tv.  It was definitely a waste of life and I'd be even more pissed if I actually paid $10 to see it.  Oz the Great and Powerful was more like Oz the over-the-top and too long.

Jack the Giant Slayer - Another twisted classic

Everyone knows the classic tale of Jack and the Beanstalk:  Jack is sent to sale goods to get money for food for his hungry family.  He trades his items for magical beans.  His family doesn't believe the beans are magical and that Jack has caused his family to now be poor and hungry.  The beans are thrown out the window and a beanstalk grows into the clouds.  A curious Jack, climbs up the beanstalk, finds and kills a giant, takes some treasure back to his family, and everyone lives happily ever after. Probably not, but whatever.

Jack the Giant Slayer is a twist on this classic tale.  Jack, played by Nicholas Hoult, goes through very similar beginnings as the classic Jack, but he decides to climb up the beanstalk to rescue Princess Isabelle, played by Eleanor Tomlinson, whom has accidentally been caught up into the beanstalk as it grows while on an excursion outside the castle.  Isabelle's story is a classic as well:  betrothed to a man she doesn't love and feels trapped in the castle so she seeks adventures like the ones her now deceased mom use to read to her as a child.  Once at the top of the beanstalk, the real excitement begins.

Nicholas Hoult and Eleanor Tomlinson aren't huge names, although Holt starred in Warm Bodies late last year, but one name and face you will recognize is Stanley Tucci.  He plays Lord Roderick, the man Isabelle is supposed to marry unbeknownst to the king that he has evil plans to be the King of the Giants.  This isn't much of a spoiler since in movies like this, the guy betrothed to the princess is always the bad guy.  Ewan McGregor is another big name.  He plays the leader of the Kings' guard, and is a very integral part of saving the kingdom.

The kids in the movie theater seemed entertain.  That may have something to do with the constant potty humor brought on by the giants.  I found the movie to be rather lengthy, overly dramatic, and somewhat violent.  The giants were constantly eating humans, passing gas, and throwing things.  I don't think I'd watch it again, well maybe if there was nothing else on tv and I didn't have any dvds to watch.  I'd honestly rather read the classic fairytale, and maybe so would you.

Snitch - Snitches get stitches

"Snitches get stitches," is a common urban phrase.  It basically means that if you tell the cops about any criminal activity that can get someone in trouble, then there may be some violent repercussions towards you.  This movie Snitch is quite the opposite of this phrase.  The premise of the movie is to save his son from unfairly spending 10 years in prison for drug distribution, a father decides to make a deal with the US Attorney General to become an informant and bring down a drug cartel.  In other words, a snitch keeps his son from being a prison bitch.

Snitch stars Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Susan Sarandon, Benjamin Bratt, and Michael Kenneth Williams (yes, Omar from The Wire is in the movie and the whole time I kept calling him Omar in my head).   Dwayne does a yummy fantastic job in this very serious role.  At no point does he look into the camera, raise one eyebrow, and smile, and sadly he never takes off his shirt.  I guess he wants to be taken seriously as an actor, and I try in this movie while mentally undressing him.  There's a C-list actor in this movie by the name of Jon Bernthal.  He does a great job in the gritty role as the ex-con trying to do right only to get sucked into this situation to help his boss get in good with the drug cartel.  I see him at least jumping to the B-list if he continues to take on roles like this.

I really enjoyed Snitch.  It was full of action and it often tugged at your heart strings especially when the son is always shown with more and more bruises and stitches because of his time spent in prison.  This movie is based on a true story which makes it even more interesting to know that this type of thing goes on sometime.  Dwayne Johnson does his thing and although he stays fully dressed, I think many women and men will enjoy it.  Teens should see this movie also, just so they can think twice about some of the decisions that they make.

A Good Day to Die Hard - A good day to stop making these movies

Bruce Willis was one of my favorite action heroes...15 years ago.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good action movie like the next girl, but I need my hero to not be 75 years old and to no look like everything hurts.  That's NOT hot.  Why are we still making Die Hard movies?  The last one wasn't that great and this one was worst than the last.  It's like the Fast and Furious franchise.  We coulda stopped after the second one although I did enjoy all the man candy is Fast 5.  But I digress...

A Good Day to Die Hard is the fifth installment of the series which stars Bruce Willis as the aging John McCain.  In the past, he neglected his kids because as NYPD he always found himself trying to stop some psycho in grand fashion.  Now, he's decided to find his son and help him out of trouble who just so happens to be in Moscow in the middle of Russian politics.  The storyline is a little bit more plausible than Live Free or Die Hard.  One can believe that the angry son played by Jai Courtney of an NYPD officer would be an CIA operative who is helping the Russians.  On John McCain's visit all sorts of trouble ensues including fire-powered tanks, exploding courts, and a fateful trip to Chernobyl.

This Die Hard was rather boring, predictable, and completely unnecessary.  The story would have been better sans Bruce Willis, a different title, and a much hotter hero, more depth to the plot.  I really hope this is the last one.  I'm part of the problem because if there is another one, I'll go see it.  I'm a sucker for an action movie even one starring a dried up action star.

Warm Bodies - A zombie love story....really?

Zombies aren't really my thing.  I've only seen one or two Resident Evil movie.  There's like a hundred of them.  Ok, not really, but there probably are over a 100 zombie movies.  I'm sure Warm Bodies is probably the first time one falls in love with a human and his cured of his zombiness.  I've pretty much just told you the entire movie.  If this is all you ever see of the movie, you'll be ok.  I mean, it's cute, and stupid, and a little funny, but let's be real.  A movie about a zombie who is cured by love can't be that good.  The two guys who left the movie when the zombie and the girl kissed left 10 minutes too soon.  Well, there wasn't much left after that, but I can see how once it got to that point you'd be fed up and want to leave.

Warm Bodies is based on Isaac Marion's very popular novel with the same name.  I'm sure the book was better which is usually the case.  They both are about a Zombie named R played by Nicholas Hoult who thinks and feels and is bored with being a zombie.  During his hunt for food (humans) with his friends, he meets and falls for Julie (Teresa Palmer) who's father happens to be the leader of the humans.  Julie catches his eye and heart, and R decides to keep Julie safe.  They spend time together and develop feelings for one another and discover that caring for each other is curing him and his zombie friends.  The bonies who are even more zombie than R and his friends don't like this change and decide to hunt Julie and R.  Julie tries to explain this to her father played by John Malkovich.  He doesn't believe it until he shoots R, and R begins to bleed.  He stops the war against zombies and helps them fight the bonies.  

I guess the point of the movie is that we need to spend more time with each other caring for each other instead of being on our phones, ipads, and computers all the time.  Nice sentiment.  Just a very cheesy way to get the point across.  Warm Bodies wasn't bad, but it wasn't good.  If you have an extra 90+ minutes to kill, knock yourself out, but if not, stay home or go see something else.  I've heard Zero Dark Thirty is good.  I still haven't seen it.  Go see it and tell me about it, and pass on Warm Bodies.  

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters - Keep the kids at home for this one!

Once upon a time there was a girl who liked to watch movies with vampires, werewolves, aliens, monsters, hobbits, dragons, ghosts, and witches.  This week she chose Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.  She didn't have extremely high expectations for this movie, but was hoping that at least the cheesiness of it would keep her entertained for 90 minutes.  And well, it did!

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters follows the siblings many years after their treacherous trip through the forest where they found the house made of candy and the witch wanting to eat them.  After killing that witch by pushing her through the furnace, they began a journey killing witches and making a living off of it.  They are employed by a town where witches are kidnapping children.  They must find the children and kill the witches in the process.  They also discover a little more about their past and learn what happened to their parents that fateful day in the forest.

This movie is very gruesome and definitely not for kids.  I didn't know there were automatic weapons back in fairytale land or that women were allowed to wear pants and curse like sailors, but clearly you can do anything you want when hunting witches.  This movie was a bit bizarre (Hansel and Gretel's relationship is a little incestuous) and very cheesy, but I enjoyed it.  There is lots of blood and guts and exploding witches.  There's also a huge troll with a soft heart.  I mean, this movie has everything except a big named actress well unless you want to count Jeremy Renner or Famke Janssen.  All-in-all, I enjoyed it.  It's not for everyone, but if you liked Van Helsing or any Underworld movie then you may enjoy this one.  The End.

Gangster Squad - A great gangster movie

Happy New Year!  I know we are 18 days into it, and I'm just now typing, but it doesn't mean I haven't been trying to get here.  Gangster Squad isn't the first movie I've seen this year, but I didn't feel that I had enough to say about Texas Chainsaw Massacre to type about it.  And, I'm still trying to find time to see Zero Dark Thirty.  If you haven't seen anything yet this year, Gangster Squad is a great one to get you started.

This movie is based on a true story about a group of LAPD officers who were brought together to take down Meyer Harris "Mickey" Cohen and his gang which may have been apart of the Jewish Mafia.  This group of cops were known as the Gangster Squad Unit.  In the movie, the squad was lead by Sergeant O'hara played by James Brolin.  He was a decorated war hero who was having trouble being a civilian in a corrupt LA scene of the 1940's and 1950's.  Members of his squad includes Sergeant Wooters (Ryan Gosling) who has a thing for Mickey Cohen's girl (Emma Stone), Detective Harris, Detective Navidad Ramirez, Detective Kennard, and Detective Keeler played by one of my favs Giovanni Ribisi.  They go after and destroy Mickey Cohen's business and establishments in order to run him out of town.  Sean Penn as Mickey is ruthless and physically and mentally ugly.  I can't tell if he was acting well or just playing a darker version of himself.  Either way, I was captivated by him and that nose.

There is a lot of classic gangster movie things happening here.  Lot's of shooting, night club scenes, girls in pretty dresses, guys looking good in fedoras, cars with suicide doors, car chases, and did I mention shooting.  There is that 2013 spin on it with the graphic nature of things.  In one of the opening scenes, a man is pulled apart by two cars, and we see it all.  There were some funny scenes mixed in there too.  And, every time Ryan Gosling entered the room, I would think that is one cutie patootie. I enjoyed every scene he was in, oh yes I did!  I think in all, this a great gangster movie.  It's no Goodfellas or The Godfather, but I don't think it was meant to be.  It's more like The Untouchables.  I enjoyed that one, and I liked Gangster Squad too.  I think so will you.