Magic Mike - Not enough eye candy in the world...

Picture this:  men stripping off their clothes, dancing, body rolling, and simulating sex for money.  Is this Chippendales?  No.  It's the background premise of the movie Magic Mike starring non other than the ever-so-sexy Channing Tatum.  Mr. Smooth Moves Tatum plus Matthew McConaughey, Joe Manganiello, (Alicide on True Blood) and other half naked men where great to ogle but they were not enough to make this a good movie.  Heck, it wasn't even a decent movie.

I can't really give you a brief synopsis because there wasn't much of a storyline, but I'll try.  Magic Mike (Tatum) meets The Kid (Alex Pettyfer) working construction and then runs into him again that night at the club while trying to get women to come to his male review owned by Dallas (McConaughey).  The Kid comes with Magic Mike to the show and by happenstance The Kid begins working there.  There's sex, drugs, a sister, some parties, screaming women, and not much more.  It's a low budget version of Boogie Nights.

It was poorly written, poorly directed, poorly edited, and worst of all, poorly acted.  I can't decide if Channing flubbed his lines and they just didn't make him do it over, or if was written that way.  There really wasn't a beginning, middle, and end.  There was no climax, no lesson learned, or resolution.  It just kind of ends.  Now, I wasn't expecting greatness, but I was expecting the movie to be entertaining. Please ladies and gay men, go into this movie knowing that it is absolutely going to suck!!!  Straight men, stay home because although there are gratuitous boob shots, it won't be enough for you to sit through two hours of horrible acting and men dry humping the ground in cheesy costumes.

I love looking at Channing Tatum which is pretty much why I watch any of his movies, but he owes me $7 for this one.