Noah - Expect something different

Paramount must have known that they were going out on a limb with this variation of Noah.  The book of Genesis has many stories open to interpretation, but this interpretation of Noah is much different than what's in Genesis 5-10.  If you go into the theater knowing that Noah the movie is slightly different from the Biblical story of Noah, and just enjoy the cinematic experience, then you'll be great!  Be prepared for the theatrics over content especially when the distribution company of the film puts out a disclaimer such as, 

"The film is inspired by the story of Noah. While artistic license has been taken, we believe that this film is true to the essence, values and integrity of a story that is a cornerstone of faith for millions of people worldwide. The biblical story of Noah can be found in the book of Genesis."

Noah is an intense film loosely based on the very popular story of how God destroyed the earth by water after feeling like man was inherently wicked, and He needed to start over.  God chooses Noah, played by the great Russell Crowe, and his family to help Him save all the birds, beasts, and crawlers by building an enormous arc that will house the creatures and his family.  Meanwhile, Noah's son, Shem, has fallen in love with a barren young woman, Ila who is played by Emma Watson.  Ila was taken in by Noah after her family was murdered.  Noah's other son, Ham, is jealous because he realizes that he will be alone on the arc if Noah doesn't find him and his younger brother, Japheth, wives before the flood begins.

Noah feels that all humans are wicked, and he begins to believe that God not only wants to cleanse the earth of the wicked who are led by Tubal-cain, a descendant of the first murderer, Cain, but that God, known as The Creator, wants an end to all mankind including Noah's family.  Noah believes that his youngest son, Japheth, is to be the last living man on earth.  This causes conflict in Noah's family when Ila becomes pregnant with the help of Methuselah played by Anthony Hopkins.  Methuselah is Noah's grandfather who has magical powers and gives the family spiritual guidance in quirky ways.

Noah gets help building the arc from The Watchers who are six-limbed giants.  These giants are fallen angels who felt badly for man and wanted to help when God punished Adam and Eve after eating the forbidden fruit.  The Watchers not only help Noah, but defend the arc when the treacherous humans try to get on it and kill Noah's family.  Nick Nolte performs the voice for Samyaza, the leader of The Watchers.  The addition of The Watchers is a great explanation of how Noah was able to build such a monstrosity even though these characters made the movie feel a little science-fantasy like.

After I got over the initial shock of how different this movie was from the story I grew up with, I began to enjoy the film.  There's a message in the movie that's not religious but universal.  There's good and evil in everyone, but it's up to the individual what side we choose.  If you live with love in your heart and let it rule your decisions when it comes to relationships, you really can't go wrong.  God loved us, and He created us in His image, so we should be able to love one another and not let evil take over our lives and destroy this world.  There are some slow moments, and the CGI is terrible, but the intensity in Russell Crowe and the passion Jennifer Connelly shows as Naameh, Noah's wife, for her family plus that gravity in size of that arc makes the movie a must see.  

Divergent - Every book shouldn't be a movie

I did it! I read all 501 pages of Divergent in 4 days, and finished the book ten minutes before the movie started.  I kept hearing how good it was, and how much it was like The Hunger Games, that I had to read it before I saw the movie.  I really shouldn't listen to people because it sets up these preconceived notions in my head that are hard to live up to, especially movies and books.  I tried to stop comparing it The Hunger Games because honestly it wasn't really like it at all, and I tried to stop waiting for Divergent the book to get really good and just get into the story.  The book was decent until (SPOILER ALERT) everyone turned into mindless drones.  That part was just silly to me, and really didn't fit or go with the flow of the story.  I knew there were more books, so I wasn't shocked at the (SPOILER ALERT) somewhat unfinished ending.  The Hunger Games was hands down a more superior book and movie for that matter.

When I finished reading, there was nothing in the book that made me say, "Divergent really needs to be a movie."  I've read many books that the entire time I couldn't wait to see it on the big screen.  I couldn't wait to see how Aslan or Reepicheep would talk, how Edward would sparkle, how Bella's blank pages of sorrow would be portrayed, how much of the Vatican they'd actually show in Angels and Demons, and how cute Rue would be, or how Effie Trinket's make-up would look.  I didn't get that feeling when reading Divergent.  Not every book needs to be a movie, and I don't think Divergent's story was enhanced by the big screen.

Divergent is another post-apocalyptic story of how five different groups of people known as factions, Erudite, Dauntless, Amity, Candor, and Abnegation, live separate but somewhat equal lives based on their different value systems.  (Another SPOILER ALERT) Beatrice, "Tris", chooses to live among the Dauntless even though she's really a rebel, or Divergent.  We sit through her training and troubles while she discovers (Yet another SPOILER ALERT) a war brewing between the Erudite and Abnegation governments using the Dauntless.  There's lots of excitement and lovable and despicable characters in the book.  We don't get the opportunity to love or hate anyone during the movie because the screenwriter sidesteps those relationships to focus more on the looming hostilities between factions which is quite the opposite of the book.  Seventy-five percent of the book focuses on Tris' training and how that effects her relationships and the people around her.  It's really what hooks you and attaches you to certain characters.  Maybe that's why the movie doesn't grab your heart because it's missing the heart of the book.

If you've read the book, then don't see the movie.  You're not missing anything.  If you haven't read the books, then you might find it a tad bit more entertaining.  I'll keep reading the series, and hope it gets better.  The Twilight Series has four amazing books and four amazing movies (we all know the first movie sucked monkey balls).  The Hunger Games has three amazing books and will have four movies.  The first two have been pretty good so far, but just because those series has had great successes at the box office doesn't mean that Divergent and every other young-adult book series needs to join them.  Some stories are better left on the paper, digital or otherwise.

The Single Moms Club - TP needs to work on his issues

I'm going to try as hard as possible not to spend so much time bashing Tyler Perry in this blog.  I'm not making any promises.  I did say, "try".  It's no secret that I'm not a fan of TP, so why do I keep watching his movies?  I don't have a good answer.  I guess it's because I keep hoping he will eventually get one right.  The Family That Preys has been the closest he's come.  The Single Moms Club is the second closest.

The Single Moms Club starring Nia Long as May is about a group of single moms from all different backgrounds who are forced into working together to keep their children from expulsion.  The kids, on the other hand, get a slap on the wrist, and continue to be rude, disrespectful, and out of control.  Their parents don't need to work together.  They need to beat these kids.  But, I digress.  The women become fast friends, go out together, and help out each other with single-mother-struggles while discovering romance along the way.

Before I discuss the issues, let's discuss what worked.  Tyler always forces a message on us.  I'm guessing the message in this movie was supposed to be that you're not alone in your struggles, and if you don't talk to your kids, they'll be messed up and it will be a problem later.  It was a simple message, and done semi-sweetly.  I also enjoyed the plausible ending.  No one dies, gets HIV, or is punished for their sins.  These stories are everyday stories with everyday issues, and I felt their were real honest moments in the movie that worked.

Now, my issues with the movie and with TP:  Tyler Perry clearly hates black people especially black women.  It's very evident in his portrayles of us in his movies and tv shows.  He stereotypes black people, and then punishes them for their behavior.  BUT, he has no problem with creating more complex characters for Caucasians.  Although, EVERYONE is a cliche in his movies and shows, he seems to be able to write better for white people than black people.  In The Single Moms Club, there are six black male characters.  Two of them are in jail, one is a drug addict, two of the little boys are smart-mouth disrespectful little brats, and the other is a silly fool.  Tyler's character, TK, is the only black male without issues.  Go figure.

There are three women of color.  Lydia, played by Cocoa Brown, is the loud-mouth, sassy full-figured black woman who lives in the hood and has 5 kids, two of which she had at 16 who became crack addicts, thieves, and are now in jail.  The second black woman, May, has a son with a deadbeat dad who constantly disappoints his son.  While May seems successful, why can't she be the one who is divorcing the rich lawyer?  Why can't Lydia be the successful publisher trying to make partner who used artificial insemination?  Nope, he saved those character for the white ladies.  Why does the white lady drive the BMW, the black man drive the pick-up truck, and the black lady running after the bus?

There are Hispanics in the movie too.  Guess what their professions are?  Maid, car-dealer, mexican restaurant owner, and kept woman.  Seriously Tyler?  Is that all light-brown people can be?  All the characters are flawed except the white next door neighbor and TK, but it'd be great if their flaws weren't so predictable and more universal.

With all that said, the movie wasn't too bad.  The acting wasn't great, although Nia long did her thing.   But, Tyler Perry was the best of the worst acting wise which is saying a lot.  Terry Crews was the comic relief, but I really need him to do something different than being the goofy chocolatey beefcake.  I wanted not to like the movie, but it slowly grew on me.  The audience laughed at the silly moments.    Although the story was authentic, the emotions weren't, so it was a little lack-luster.  Like I said in my Temptation blog, he's slowly getting better, but Mr. Perry really needs to let other people do the writing.  TP also needs some couch time to work on his issues.  He has a duty as a writer and a producer to tell everyone's story, not everyone's stereotype.

300: Rise of an Empire - More than 300 minutes of BORING and BLOOD!

I'll keep this short.  The movie 300: Rise of an Empire was boring and gory.  It wasn't very good and a huge disappointment to me.  I fell asleep twice, and I wasn't the only one.  A little more than thirty minutes into the movie, the man behind me was snoring, and the guy next to me was curled up next to his boo taking a nap.

I loved 300!  I have it on DVD.  I've seen it one time too many.  There's nothing like a bunch bare-chested men with 6-packs for days slinging a sword around with brute strength.  Unfortunately, this sequel or prequel (I'm still a little confused about that because the movie takes place before, during, and after the events in 300) was trying too hard to make a good story where there really wasn't one.

There were more muscle-bound, sword-slinging men, but they threw a bad-arse chick in the mix who was supposed to be sexy and domineering, but she came off too hard and repulsive.  I was over her, her big hair and bad make-up (I was digging her costume changes), and the movie fifteen minutes after it began.  The opening fight scene was extremely graphic.  It was clear that 300: Rise of an Empire was made for 3D because there was fake blood splatting across the screen throughout the whole movie.  Decapitations and flying arrows were in abundance.  This film was just too savage and gruesome.  Anyone with a weak stomach should not watch.

I won't be watching this movie again.  I'm not recommending it to anyone, but if you do see it and you like it, please tell me why.  Sadly, 300: Rise of an Empire is another example of why you shouldn't make a sequel, especially a long one with a poorly written storyline.

Congratulations to the winners!!!

Congratulations to all the winners of Academy Awards tonight.  Ellen as host was excellent.  Check out this awesome group photo that she took live during the Oscars!

I never thought when I watched 12 Years a Slave that it'd win for best picture, but of the movies on the list that I have seen, it was the best. I'm very happy for Steve McQueen and everyone who worked on the film, but I'm most happy for Lupita Nyong'o.  She won for best supporting actress!  It's so amazing because this was her first ever film after just graduating from college only a few months ago.  That's so awesome!  She's a beautiful girl inside and out.  I hope her future continues to grow.

Michael Fassbender was nominated, and although he lost, I called his nomination way back when I first saw the film.  Now, I must see Dallas Buyers Club because Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey both took home Oscars for their work in the film.  I, also, must see Frozen which won best animated movie and best song (over "Happy"?  Seriously?), and so I'll understand the references one of my employees keeps making about the movie EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  Frozen must really be good to beat out Despicable Me 2.

All in all, the Oscars were marginally interesting, at least the parts that I actually watched.  I flipped back and forth between that and "Law and Order: SVU".  I was really only watching to see what Ellen was doing or saying and to catch a glimpse of Lupita.  I'm officially a Lupitan now (It's like being a Beyhive member, but actually being a stan for someone who can speak clearly and act).  Until next year or not because I can't guarantee that I'm watching next year, keep watching those movies and maybe, just maybe, Ellen will host again next year.  We'll all be...