Snitch - Snitches get stitches

"Snitches get stitches," is a common urban phrase.  It basically means that if you tell the cops about any criminal activity that can get someone in trouble, then there may be some violent repercussions towards you.  This movie Snitch is quite the opposite of this phrase.  The premise of the movie is to save his son from unfairly spending 10 years in prison for drug distribution, a father decides to make a deal with the US Attorney General to become an informant and bring down a drug cartel.  In other words, a snitch keeps his son from being a prison bitch.

Snitch stars Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Susan Sarandon, Benjamin Bratt, and Michael Kenneth Williams (yes, Omar from The Wire is in the movie and the whole time I kept calling him Omar in my head).   Dwayne does a yummy fantastic job in this very serious role.  At no point does he look into the camera, raise one eyebrow, and smile, and sadly he never takes off his shirt.  I guess he wants to be taken seriously as an actor, and I try in this movie while mentally undressing him.  There's a C-list actor in this movie by the name of Jon Bernthal.  He does a great job in the gritty role as the ex-con trying to do right only to get sucked into this situation to help his boss get in good with the drug cartel.  I see him at least jumping to the B-list if he continues to take on roles like this.

I really enjoyed Snitch.  It was full of action and it often tugged at your heart strings especially when the son is always shown with more and more bruises and stitches because of his time spent in prison.  This movie is based on a true story which makes it even more interesting to know that this type of thing goes on sometime.  Dwayne Johnson does his thing and although he stays fully dressed, I think many women and men will enjoy it.  Teens should see this movie also, just so they can think twice about some of the decisions that they make.

A Good Day to Die Hard - A good day to stop making these movies

Bruce Willis was one of my favorite action heroes...15 years ago.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good action movie like the next girl, but I need my hero to not be 75 years old and to no look like everything hurts.  That's NOT hot.  Why are we still making Die Hard movies?  The last one wasn't that great and this one was worst than the last.  It's like the Fast and Furious franchise.  We coulda stopped after the second one although I did enjoy all the man candy is Fast 5.  But I digress...

A Good Day to Die Hard is the fifth installment of the series which stars Bruce Willis as the aging John McCain.  In the past, he neglected his kids because as NYPD he always found himself trying to stop some psycho in grand fashion.  Now, he's decided to find his son and help him out of trouble who just so happens to be in Moscow in the middle of Russian politics.  The storyline is a little bit more plausible than Live Free or Die Hard.  One can believe that the angry son played by Jai Courtney of an NYPD officer would be an CIA operative who is helping the Russians.  On John McCain's visit all sorts of trouble ensues including fire-powered tanks, exploding courts, and a fateful trip to Chernobyl.

This Die Hard was rather boring, predictable, and completely unnecessary.  The story would have been better sans Bruce Willis, a different title, and a much hotter hero, more depth to the plot.  I really hope this is the last one.  I'm part of the problem because if there is another one, I'll go see it.  I'm a sucker for an action movie even one starring a dried up action star.

Warm Bodies - A zombie love story....really?

Zombies aren't really my thing.  I've only seen one or two Resident Evil movie.  There's like a hundred of them.  Ok, not really, but there probably are over a 100 zombie movies.  I'm sure Warm Bodies is probably the first time one falls in love with a human and his cured of his zombiness.  I've pretty much just told you the entire movie.  If this is all you ever see of the movie, you'll be ok.  I mean, it's cute, and stupid, and a little funny, but let's be real.  A movie about a zombie who is cured by love can't be that good.  The two guys who left the movie when the zombie and the girl kissed left 10 minutes too soon.  Well, there wasn't much left after that, but I can see how once it got to that point you'd be fed up and want to leave.

Warm Bodies is based on Isaac Marion's very popular novel with the same name.  I'm sure the book was better which is usually the case.  They both are about a Zombie named R played by Nicholas Hoult who thinks and feels and is bored with being a zombie.  During his hunt for food (humans) with his friends, he meets and falls for Julie (Teresa Palmer) who's father happens to be the leader of the humans.  Julie catches his eye and heart, and R decides to keep Julie safe.  They spend time together and develop feelings for one another and discover that caring for each other is curing him and his zombie friends.  The bonies who are even more zombie than R and his friends don't like this change and decide to hunt Julie and R.  Julie tries to explain this to her father played by John Malkovich.  He doesn't believe it until he shoots R, and R begins to bleed.  He stops the war against zombies and helps them fight the bonies.  

I guess the point of the movie is that we need to spend more time with each other caring for each other instead of being on our phones, ipads, and computers all the time.  Nice sentiment.  Just a very cheesy way to get the point across.  Warm Bodies wasn't bad, but it wasn't good.  If you have an extra 90+ minutes to kill, knock yourself out, but if not, stay home or go see something else.  I've heard Zero Dark Thirty is good.  I still haven't seen it.  Go see it and tell me about it, and pass on Warm Bodies.  

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters - Keep the kids at home for this one!

Once upon a time there was a girl who liked to watch movies with vampires, werewolves, aliens, monsters, hobbits, dragons, ghosts, and witches.  This week she chose Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.  She didn't have extremely high expectations for this movie, but was hoping that at least the cheesiness of it would keep her entertained for 90 minutes.  And well, it did!

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters follows the siblings many years after their treacherous trip through the forest where they found the house made of candy and the witch wanting to eat them.  After killing that witch by pushing her through the furnace, they began a journey killing witches and making a living off of it.  They are employed by a town where witches are kidnapping children.  They must find the children and kill the witches in the process.  They also discover a little more about their past and learn what happened to their parents that fateful day in the forest.

This movie is very gruesome and definitely not for kids.  I didn't know there were automatic weapons back in fairytale land or that women were allowed to wear pants and curse like sailors, but clearly you can do anything you want when hunting witches.  This movie was a bit bizarre (Hansel and Gretel's relationship is a little incestuous) and very cheesy, but I enjoyed it.  There is lots of blood and guts and exploding witches.  There's also a huge troll with a soft heart.  I mean, this movie has everything except a big named actress well unless you want to count Jeremy Renner or Famke Janssen.  All-in-all, I enjoyed it.  It's not for everyone, but if you liked Van Helsing or any Underworld movie then you may enjoy this one.  The End.

Gangster Squad - A great gangster movie

Happy New Year!  I know we are 18 days into it, and I'm just now typing, but it doesn't mean I haven't been trying to get here.  Gangster Squad isn't the first movie I've seen this year, but I didn't feel that I had enough to say about Texas Chainsaw Massacre to type about it.  And, I'm still trying to find time to see Zero Dark Thirty.  If you haven't seen anything yet this year, Gangster Squad is a great one to get you started.

This movie is based on a true story about a group of LAPD officers who were brought together to take down Meyer Harris "Mickey" Cohen and his gang which may have been apart of the Jewish Mafia.  This group of cops were known as the Gangster Squad Unit.  In the movie, the squad was lead by Sergeant O'hara played by James Brolin.  He was a decorated war hero who was having trouble being a civilian in a corrupt LA scene of the 1940's and 1950's.  Members of his squad includes Sergeant Wooters (Ryan Gosling) who has a thing for Mickey Cohen's girl (Emma Stone), Detective Harris, Detective Navidad Ramirez, Detective Kennard, and Detective Keeler played by one of my favs Giovanni Ribisi.  They go after and destroy Mickey Cohen's business and establishments in order to run him out of town.  Sean Penn as Mickey is ruthless and physically and mentally ugly.  I can't tell if he was acting well or just playing a darker version of himself.  Either way, I was captivated by him and that nose.

There is a lot of classic gangster movie things happening here.  Lot's of shooting, night club scenes, girls in pretty dresses, guys looking good in fedoras, cars with suicide doors, car chases, and did I mention shooting.  There is that 2013 spin on it with the graphic nature of things.  In one of the opening scenes, a man is pulled apart by two cars, and we see it all.  There were some funny scenes mixed in there too.  And, every time Ryan Gosling entered the room, I would think that is one cutie patootie. I enjoyed every scene he was in, oh yes I did!  I think in all, this a great gangster movie.  It's no Goodfellas or The Godfather, but I don't think it was meant to be.  It's more like The Untouchables.  I enjoyed that one, and I liked Gangster Squad too.  I think so will you.

Top 5 movies of 2012 - My list will be way different than the "real" critics

One of the things I'm most happy about in 2012 is starting this blog.  Since I watch movies all the time, I thought I'd share my thoughts with anyone who cared.  Well, after watching 30ish movies this year, I thought I would list my top 5 movies of this year.  My list isn't going to be like any of the critics.  At the end of the day, it's my opinion and my opinion is the only one that matters in this blog.

#5 Django Unchained - It was really hard for me to decide between this and Les Mis because I enjoyed them both, but I feel like I could watch Django many more times that Les Miserables despite some of the gruesome scenes.  Here were my thoughts on the movie:  Django Unchained review

#4 Think Like a Man - The funniest movie of the year to me should definitely be on my list.  Kevin Hart has been making his rounds on the small screen and big screen this year.  He will start 2013 with a new reality show.  His stars are looking up and so was this movie.  Think Like a Man review

#3 Snow White and the Huntsman - Some one told Kristen Stewart she was a good actress and then gave her numerous roles.  This movie by far is her greatest acting role yet.  Snow White and the Huntsman not only had people talking about how great the movie was, but they were also talking about the affair Kristen had with the director which broke up her relationship with her Twilight Saga co-star.  They got back together right before the promotion began for Breaking Dawn Part 2 (coincidence, I think NOT).  Although, I enjoyed Breaking Dawn and sad to see the saga end, I loved Snow White more.  Snow White and The Huntsman Review

#2 Prometheus - You guys should have known a Sci-fi movie with Idris Elba was going to make the list.  The movie was great!  He looked great!  What more can I say?  Oh wait, read this for more:  Prometheus movie review

#1 Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - It wouldn't be a movie list without a vampire movie on it.  I'm sure as a Twi-hard you'd think my #1 movie choice would be Breaking Dawn Part 2, but nope.  It's Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  I loved this movie.  I didn't fall asleep once like I did in that critically acclaimed other Lincoln movie.  Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter review

Oh, and the worst movie of 2012 has to be Mirror, Mirror starring Julia Roberts.  I don't have a review for it because it was before I started this blog, but I will just say that, I left wanting my $6 back and was pissed at Julia for making me suffer through that mess.  I'll forgive her this time.

Anyway, 2012 was full of closure, block-busters, pre-quels, and sequels.  We saw the end of the Dark Knight Trilogy and the Twilight Saga; the beginning of the Hunger Games Trilogy, the start of the Avenger movies, and a better version of a new Spider-man series.  I look forward to what 2013 has to bring and I hope you stay with me while I tell you my thoughts on it all.

Les Misérables - Wait, they were singing!

Everyone's got to broaden their horizons.  You can't do the same thing day in and day out.  You can see the same type of movie every time you go to the theater.  You'll miss out.  I love a great sci-fi, fantasy, suspense, or action/drama, but I also love a great musical too.  My all-time favorite movie is Sound of Music.  Les Misérables is a musical of sorts.  It's more like an opera since they sing 99% of every word, but the acting and drama is so good I almost forget they are singing...almost.

This movie stars Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, and Amanda Seyfried.  Jackman and Hathaway are nominated for Golden Globes for their portrayals in this movie.  And Les Mis, has been nominated for Best comedy or musical too.  I never agree with the awards circuit because I feel like it's all a popularity contest, but I wouldn't be disappointed if this movie brings how an award or two.  It would deserve it.  Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean is wonderful.  Anne Hathaway will bring tears to your eyes as Fantine.  I think everyone can understand a mother's love through Fantine's struggle.  We love Russell Crowe, just not Russell Crowe's singing.  He's the one negative as Inspector Javert.  He really should stick to action films like Gladiator.  Helena Bonham Carter (you know her from just about any Johnny Depp and/or Tim Burton, her husband, movie) or and Sacha Baron Cohen (yes Borat was there too) had very devious yet comical parts as Mr. and Madame Thenardier.  They too were fantastic!

I've never read the book although it is waiting on my Kindle, and I've never seen it on the stage, but after today, I want to immediately.  I really didn't know much about the plot other than the character's name Jean Valjean; so, I was completely enthralled in the story.  The story of a man trying to do right and change his stars and along the way helping a child of a woman he inadvertently wronged with the French Revolution as its background.  I think if you open your mind and heart to the idea of a movie where everyone sings, yet their emotions are true then I'll think you'll enjoy this one.  It isn't for everyone, but if you'd like a change of pace to your regular movie going experience, then I say go see Les Misérables.  You won't be disappointed.