Top 5 movies of 2013 - My list is arguable and that's fine with me.

Can you believe 2013 is pretty much over?  I feel like it just started and I was eagerly awaiting new movies such as Catching Fire, Fast 6, Iron Man 3, and Despicable Me 2.  I've seen all of those and many more.  It was tough trying to decide which were my top favorites because there were actually some really good movies out this year.  Most on my list won't be on yours like Iron Man 3, and we could argue all day why or why not, but this is my blog and these are my opinions.  Let's get into it:

5.  Star Trek Into Darkness - This movie is on the list for being my favorite sci-fi movie this year.  As I stated in my review,  "It's very hard to do a prequel, let alone a sequel to a prequel...".  As a self-proclaimed trekkie, I enjoyed how they tied the old with the new and kept it fresh and entertaining.  Check out my thoughts on the prequel sequel, or is it sequel prequel?  Star Trek Into Darkenss review

4.  Fast and Furious 6 - The movie with the most man candy should definitely make the list.  I don't know how this franchise keeps getting better especially after a few bust in the middle, but Fast 6 might be the best of the bunch.  After the sudden passing of Paul Walker, I wonder how many more they can make.  Fast 7 is set to be finished and released in 2015, but for now read my review and go check out the film if you haven't already.  Fast and Furious 6 review

3.  Best Man Holiday - After waiting 14 years to make a sequel to The Best Man, they had better gotten it right, and they did.  This was the most moving movie of the year.  I told you to bring a box of kleenex with you, but I hope you also brought your funny bone because BMH brought the laughs too.  It was great to see what some of our favorite character were doing and how they have evolved with time.  This is such a great movie to watch throughout the whole year, and you can read my review throughout the entire year as well.  The Best Man Holiday review

2.  Despicable Me 2 - My coworkers would unfriend me if this didn't make the list since we are all pretty much obsessed with minions.  I absolutely positively loved Despicable Me, and I was over the moon when I heard there would be a sequel.  I was even happier when it was just as funny if not funnier than the first.  Despicable Me 2 is the best animated film this year, and I hope my review will convince you to see it if you haven't already.  Despicable Me 2 review

1.  World War Z - There weren't any vampire movies this year for me to place on the list, but zombies made up for it.  I'm not into zombie movies, but World War Z and Brad Pitt were pretty bad arse.  The action and graphics were amazing!  I was on the edge of my seat, and looking over my shoulder for a zombie attack.  My review is short and sweet, but don't let my few words fool ya.  This is one great movie that everyone will enjoy.  It's the best zombie movie of 2013, and to me, the best movie of 2013.
World War Z review

And what is the worst movie of the year?  It's a tie between Tyler Perry's Temptation and Monsters University.  Both had their problems and issues.  I wouldn't recommend either.  Temptations review

Monsters University

In 2013, we saw many sequels and prequels.  The next year shall bring even more.  I'm most excited to see the new Transformers and X-Men movies.  I hope they live up to their predecessors.  Check out this  list for 2014'a upcoming movies, and check back here with Coach C for my thoughts on them all (or all that I get to see).  Have a happy and healthy new year!!!

47 Ronin - Samurai, need I say more

I love a good action film that involve samurai.  Doesn't everyone?  Well, if you do, you should definitely go see 47 Ronin starring Keanu Reeves as Kai, the half-breed slave.  It's full of mystic, mayhem, and melee.

Kai is asked to help Oishi get revenge on Kira for murdering their master and marrying his daughter, Mika.  Kai and Mika have a forbidden love because of their different heritages.  After a year of banishment, Oishi rounds up his samurai group of warriors to take down Kira who has a witch doing his bidding.

The sword play in this feature is great!  I love to see good hand to hand combat along with the slicing and dicing of a samurai sword.  There is little blood even with all the fighting, and only 2 heads roll, so if you don't like blood and guts, then you are in luck because this PG-13 movie keeps the excitement of fighting without the gore.  If you or your man likes a great fantasy action film based on some truths, then 47 Ronin is for you.

Grudge Match - 12 rounds too many

My family has a tradition of going to the movies Christmas night, and trying to support a black movie if possible.  We tend to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve, go our separate ways on Christmas Day, and then come back together for a movie that evening.  I've missed a few years living in NY, but I happened to make it home this year, and this year we decided to see Grudge Match starring 70-year-old Robert De Niro and 67-year-old Sylvester Stallone.  Let's be clear, my family only wanted to see it because of Kevin Hart, not the two old, wrinkly, shirtless men.

Grudge Match is about two boxers passed their prime coming together to settle a 30 year old grudge match.  During this process, Razor, played by Stallone, rekindles an old flame played by Kim Basinger who has aged well, and Kid, played by De Niro, connects with his son and grandson after 30 years.  During all of this, Kevin Hart's character, Dante, is trying to kick start his promoting career with this silly fight because who really wants to see two old men battle it out just to say they finally settled things?

This isn't a bad movie; it's just a long movie.  It has 12 rounds too many.  The point could have been made around round three.  But no, they had to go on and on and introduce new information in the 10th round.  It's less than two hours long, but it felt like a three hour movie which isn't very good.  It was slow in a lot of parts, and it took forever to get to the actual boxing match.  The only saving grace is Kevin Hart and Alan Arkin who plays Razor's long-time and ailing but comical trainer.  Kevin Hart is hilarious without even opening his mouth, and Alan Arkin plays the old guy very well...because he is.

I don't understand why Hollywood won't let old stars go, but I guess they gotta make a living somehow.  Hollywood keeps letting actors fight in the 12th round when their career should have been knocked out around round six just like in Grudge Match.  Well Stallone still looks pretty decent, but neither him nor De Niro should ever be shirtless and sweaty on film ever again in life.  I'd only watch this movie again just to laugh at Kevin Hart, other than that it was 12 round KO to me.

The Hobbit 2 - Ain't nobody got time for that long arse name or movie

I'm going to keep this short and sweet unlike this 3 hour movie...The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is long but entertaining if you can stay awake through it all.  I'm not 100% sure what's happening throughout the entire film, but I will say this sequel is slightly easier to follow than the first one: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

From what I can understand, the dwarves and Bilbo, a hobbit, have to go to this castle to steal the Arkenstone from a dragon to help Thorin, the leader of the dwarves, reclaim his kingdom somehow.  At the same time, they are being chased by Orcs, these hideous creatures, and elves.  One of the elves has kinda fallen for one of the dwarves who is in danger.  Gandolf is somewhere with his brother, at least I think it's his brother, doing something for some reason.  That part I clearly didn't understand.

Needless to say, there was a lot of action and the dragon and other creatures were pretty cool.  I did fall asleep for about 15 minutes, but when you have 3 hours to sit there, what's 15 minutes?  The sequel was much better than the first, and if this is anything like The Lord of the Rings trilogy, the third one will be even better and even longer.  We'll see how true this statement is next year.  Until then, I'll take a few naps.

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom - RIP Nelson Mandela

One day after the passing of Nelson Mandela, I finally was able to see Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom.  Nelson Mandela was such an uplifting and inspirational man, and yet his movie really wasn't.  Mandela's story is one of triumph and perseverance, and sadly, his biopic didn't do his powerful story justice.

Truth be told, I only wanted to see ii because I'm hopelessly in love with Idris Elba, not really because I was interested in Mandela's story.  Sad, but true.  I was hoping that after I stopped lusting after Idris, I could focus on the movie, learn something new, and be inspired.  It was easy to stop lusting after those shower and sex scenes, but focus and inspired I was not.  Mostly because the movie wasn't really focused or inspirational.  I did learn something new, but it's nothing I couldn't have learned from google or wikipedia.

Idris Elba as Nelson Mandela was superb.  I'm really hoping for an Academy Award nomination for him.  He really transformed himself.  But, I've known how great of an actor he is for some time, and now it's time for others to recognize his talent.  Naomie Harris as Winnie Mandela was strong and emotional, but these two weren't enough to make this movie great.  It just seemed like a hodge podge of scenes showing the actors at their best and worse with little to no backstory, information, or reason for what is happening.  If you had absolutely no clue what really happened in real life, you'd be left wanting.

In the two and a half plus hours of movie, you would think I'd feel ready to take on the world, but instead, I left feeling disjointed and disappointed.  I really wanted this movie to be great for the sake of my future husband and for the legacy of Nelson Mandela, but it wasn't.  It was tv movie good at best.  The world lost a great freedom fighter and civil rights leader yesterday, but unfortunately Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom doesn't even begin to explain how great of a man he was and how important he is to South Africa and the world.  Rest in Peace Nelson Mandela.  You deserve it.

Next week:  The Hobbit Part 2

Catching Fire - The Revolution has been Televised

One of the girls I coach on my gymnastics team says she hasn't seen nor read The Hunger Games because it's all about death.  I quickly said that it's about way more than that, and offered to let her watch my dvd.  Then, we got back to practicing.  The Hunger Games series whether in book or movie form is about way more than death and murder.  It's about revolution and how one person, one situation, one incident, one spark can catch fire and cause this revolution which can bring about change.  And, with this series being for young adult, it's the perfect audience to try and get this point across to this self-centered generation.

Catching Fire is the second installment in The Hunger Games series.  This book/movie is the beginning of the physical revolution when the people of Panem decide that because of Katniss' rebellion during the 74th Hunger Games, they are ready to start rebelling themselves against the Capitol.  Now, if you haven't read or seen The Hunger Games, you have no idea what I mean, and I'ma need you to catch up with the rest of us.  Catching Fire picks up right where The Hunger Games left off, a couple of months after the end of the games.  Katniss now has to deal with how Gale feels about her and Peeta's on screen love, proving to President Snow that she really does care about Peeta, and the Quarter Quell.  I really can't tell you much more about the story without spoiling some major plots, but I will say this...the plot thickens, and if you didn't already hate the Capital for sending kids into the games to fight to the death or for starving the people in the twelve districts, you will after your hear the Gamemakers' decision about who will go into the 75th Hunger Games.

This movie stayed true to the book.  There were only a couple of major details and a few minor details missing.  The integrity of the book was still there.  The characters looked exactly like I pictured them, and their personalities were spot-on.  Jennifer Lawrence is the perfect Katniss Everdeen, and when I read Cinna, I only see Lenny Kravitz now, but it's Jeffery Wright as Beetee and Lynn Cohen as Mags that were absolutely perfect.  I wouldn't have given that part to Jeffery Wright, but he played the nerdy role very well.  Jena Malone, really brought out Johanna's strength and Sam Claflin was a fantastic Finnick, although I was expecting someone a little bit more handsome.  But, I really think that Elizabeth Banks reprising her role as Effie Trinket really steals the show when she's on the screen.  I don't think anyone could have done her better.

Will I be adding Catching Fire to my dvd collection?  Most certainly.  Of course it's not as good as the book, but it's a pretty close depiction.  I enjoyed it.  The kids in the theater loved it so much they clapped several times.  (Clearly they hadn't read the book because they were shocked by the ending.  I overheard one girl say, "There better be another one, or I'm gonna be pissed.")  The other adults around me were on the edge of their seats.  I too was just as into the movie as I was the book.  There will be two more movies as Mockingjay is being broken up into two movies.  I can't wait!  I hope everyone returns and the writers can really capture the revolution in Panem the way the book does.  I also hope that I can convince my gymnast to catch the fire we all have for this series and see these Hunger Games movies and read the books.

Next Week:  OOH LAWD, my husband Idris Elba will be on the screen for 2 hours as Mandela!

The Best Man Holiday - The Best Sequel

Have you ever seen a movie, loved it, then heard they were making a sequel, and immediately became skeptical that it wouldn't do the original justice?  Me too, especially when it comes to The Best Man staring Taye Diggs, Nia Long, Morris Chestnut, Terrence Howard, and Sanaa Lathan.  I loved that movie, and so did many others.  It was the first time a rom-com with a 100% black cast went number one at the box office.  But, that was back in 1999, 14 years ago.  Can it be done again?  I say ABSO-FREAKIN-LOUTELY!!!  The Best Man Holiday may be one of the best sequels ever!!!

One thing that can destroy a movie sequel is not bringing back the original cast.  TBMH brought back the entire cast.  Taye Diggs and the yummy smile of his was there leading the charge.   His character, Harper Stewart, is now happily married with a baby on the way, and after the success of his book which was the premise of The Best Man, he's searching for a new bestselling book to pay off the many bills he and his new family has.  Sanaa Lathan, plays his wife and expectant mother, Robin.  Morris Chestnut is as sexy and chocolaty as sexual chocolate can be!  There is a God, and He certainly got that one right, hunty.  Morris reprises his role as Lance Sullivan, the very successful and super spiritual NFL running back who is married to Mia, his college sweetheart, played by Monica Calhoun.  They are happily married with four kids (I'm really hoping 2 of them are adopted because they look like they only got a drop of black blood in them), and they want all their friends together to celebrate Christmas.  They haven't all been together since The Sullivan wedding over a decade ago.

Nia Long is back as Jordan Long.  She's Mia's BFF and Harper's former love interest.  Now they are just friends as Jordan has her own love interest in Brian McDonald played by Eddie Cibrian.  Brian is a very attractive executive, and the fact that he is white isn't lost on any of their friends.  Julian Murch (Harold Perrineau) is now married to the stripper from Lance's bachelor party, Candy.  Candice (Regina Hall) and Julian now have two daughters and are running a private school together.  They have a little bit of trouble raising money when Candice's past as Candy is discovered by former donors.  They also have to contend with Julian's former girlfriend, Shelby (Melissa De Sousa), being invited to the Christmas festivities at Lance and Mia's home.  There are tons of awkward and funny moments between those three especially when you throw in Quentin's upfront and sarcastic remarks.  Quentin is played by Terrence Howard.  Quentin is now a successful businessman, but is still single and sleeping with any woman that'll fall for those pretty eyes, smooth talk, and middle aged belly.

Another thing that can destroy a sequel is not staying true to the integrity of the original and reusing the same jokes (ever seen The Hangover 2 or 3).  TBMH reminds you of the bond between these friends, and how true friends are there for you when times are at their lowest.  This group of friends have accomplished a lot, but it's not without trials and tribulations.  They seem to be there for each through it all.  This movie will make you laugh and cry.  Girl, you will boo hoo.  Bring a box or two of tissues because you are going to go through it all with them.  From illness, to fertility issues, poor parenting, and money problems, these friends are there for each other spiritually, financially, and emotionally, and you will feel all of the emotions right along with them.

I laughed; I cried; I lusted after Morris, many many times.  (Him in that fedora and suit singing "Can You Stand the Rain" was EVERYTHING)!!!)  I enjoyed this movie.  I'm so glad I did because I was going to be extremely disappointed if it was garbage.  It's not quite a Christmas movie because of the very serious and sad nature of the last 45 minutes or so, but it'll get you in the spirit if you have a little "bah humbug" in you.  The ending is VERY predictable, but I really couldn't care because the rest of the movie was so good.  One more thing that made this movie great: the soundtrack.  It was off the chain.  I may have to get it because it I like the new takes on old Christmas songs.  So, go see The Best Man Holiday.  Let's make it the number one movie again.  Remember what happened last time we did?  We actually got a string of decent Madea-free black movies for awhile.  Here's hoping.  

Next Week:  Catching Fire!!!!

Thor: The Dark World - The Dark Experience

I can't honestly review the movie Thor: The Dark World fully because my movie going experience was a rather dark one.  During the movie which stars the sexy Chris Hemswoth (Thor), my husband, Idris Elba (The guardian), the great Anthony Hopkins (Thor's father), and Natalie Portman (Thor's girlfriend), I dozed off multiple times.  Most of the dozing happened during the action scenes.  I fell asleep during the most action-packed part of the movie at the end.  I'm not sure if I was bored or tired, but you'd think if a movie was truly exciting, I could make it.  But, to no avail.

This movie takes place after the events that occurred during The Avengers and 2 years after the events of the first Thor movie.  There were mentions and nods to both, so make sure you've seen them before watching this.  Basically, some dark elves from a millennia ago wanted to destroy all the light in the 9 worlds or realms by using the Aether, but these dark elves', led by Malekith, plans were foiled by Thor's predecessors.  The present day aligning of the 9 worlds is a perfect time to try again.  One problem is that the Aether is now in Thor's girlfriend, Jane Foster, and he has to enlist his evil and ambitious brother, Loki's help to protect her, destroy the Aether, and the dark elves.  On top of that, Thor has to deal with idea of one day being king, being in love with a human when there's a perfectly good woman from his realm in front of him.  I know, it's a lot.  Maybe I feel asleep because the storyline was too complicated.  Maybe my brain was overloaded and needed to reboot every now and then so it shut down for a minute or three.

Although my eyes were constantly a flutter, I couldn't miss the cast of supporting characters.  Adebisi makes an appearance as Malekith's trusted and monstrous second in command.  I haven't seen him on the screen since "OZ".  Thor's mother, Frigga (Rene Russo), has crazy knife skills.  Don't sleep on her because you might get cut. The comic relief was the often naked or pants-less Dr. Erik and quirky Darcy.  They are a scientist and an intern who work with Jane Foster.  The two brought lots of chuckles and craziness to an already busy yet dark movie.

Was the movie good?  I guess, I don't know.  I was sleeping.  I'm sure it was entertaining, but it's long, and at some point, slow; and let's not forget that complicated storyline.  I couldn't really focus on the movie with the couple next to me talking to each other, and a special needs man talking to the screen.  I will say, that there is more that happens once the credits role that you should stay to see, but I can't really tell you what happens there either because a man and a woman in the theater had a physical altercation during this time.  I assume it's a set up for another Marvel Comic movie.  It wasn't the best experience for me.  I hope yours will be better, and you can tell me what I missed.

Next Week:  The Best Man Christmas

Ender's Game - Winner, Game Over!

Yet another book was adapted for the big screen.  Ender's Game is an interesting science fiction action film based on the 1985 book with the same name.  I haven't read this one, but I'd like to do so soon.  I can see how a some parts are missing or glossed over for the sake of time.  I'm sure the book is much better than the movie, as it always is, but I think this movie's take on Ender's Game was pretty good.

In short, Ender's Game is about a young boy, Ender, who was chosen to lead a group of children in a war against an alien race who tried to take over Earth 50 years ago, and are now back.   His strategic prowess while playing war video games, during battle training, and against bullies makes a meek looking Ender, an incredible opponent against these formidable aliens.  And since children are the best and honest at playing games, the adult command enlists a team of misfit youth to "play" along side Ender in yet another battle of Earth vs Aliens.

Asa Butterfield is the likable and lovable Ender.  This young man was phenomenal!  He showed incredible emotion and intelligence, and held his own next to some of our greatest actors.  Harrison Ford, Viola Davis, and Ben Kingsley are some of these great actors.  Harrison is Colonel Graff, the man who believes in Ender and hand picks him for the fight.  Viola is Major Anderson.  I assume she's a psychiatrist or physiologist who makes sure that the kids can handle the pressure of these war games.  I can't tell you who Ben is without giving something away, but her helps Ender realize his full potential.  Abigail Breslin is Valentine, Ender's sister and motivation.  She is among the many young actors and actresses who do a fantastic job in this movie.

I enjoyed Ender's Game.  It was really long at about 2 hours, but well worth it.  I'm sure it could have been longer to try to get everything in the movie.  I think teenagers and adults alike will get into the action in the movie.  Everyone in the theater with me seemed captivated.  War games usually make for a good movie, but throw in aliens, and tough kids and you have a winner!  Game Over!

Next week:  Thor 2

X-Men: Days of Future Trailer

This doesn't come out until next year, but BAYBAY...I CAN'T WAIT!!!!  From the trailer it looks like it's where X-Men: The First Class and X-Men: The Last Stand meet.  Who cares what's it's about, really?  I'm all for it!!!

The Counselor - The WTH!!!

You ever watched a movie, left the theatre, and thought, "what the heck"?  That's how I felt after watching Ridley Scott's The Counselor.  I left baffled and confused, and I was pretty much that way throughout the entire film.

Where to start?  I don't really know what was happening in the movie, but I'll tell you what I got.  A Texas lawyer, known as The Counselor,  played by Michael Fassbender, makes some sort of deal, I'm assuming illegal, with this flashy man, simply named Reiner, who makes a lot of money, which I also will assume, illegally.  Reiner is played by a spikey-haired, Versace-wearing Javier Bardem.  Reiner's woman of the moment is Cameron Diaz.  I never learned her name.  I also never learned her purpose other than by any means necessary fouling up their deal and getting someone's money.  Brad Pitt plays some sort of Texas middle-man.  He's in and out of the movie, and I never really understood his role either.

I assume all dealings are illegal because the movie takes place in Juarez, Texas and somewhere in Mexico.  There is a lot of mention of The Cartel.  What the deal was, and who else is involved?  I have no clue.  I just know that something goes wrong when Rosie Perez's son is murdered for whatever he had in his helmet.  I couldn't tell if Rosie Perez, one of The Counselor's clients, is in on it or not.  She's just randomly inserted in the movie too.  Once things begin to go wrong for whatever reason The Counselor simply wants to protect his new fiance played by the funny-looking and funny-talking Penelope Cruz from The Cartel, and then all hell breaks loose.

I apologize if I'm rambling or if this synopsis seams all over the place, but that's how the movie feels.  Last time I saw a Ridely Scott movie, I was praising it.  Last week, Michael Fassbender was one of my favorite characters in the movie.  Together, you would think this movie would be amazing.  It was amazingly confusing.  At one point Reiner tells a story about Cameron Diaz's character having sex with his car.  It was randomly inserted in this movie, and was pointless.  The only thing I did like about the movie was Cameron Diaz's wardrobe.  Her looks rivaled any skinny chick's on a catwalk.  I loved EVERYTHING she wore, and her hair was giving me Cruella Deville 3.0.  I loved it!  That's about the only thing.

I need someone else to go The Counselor just so they can try to explain it to me.  Other than that, pass on this one.  Maybe Ridley needs to stick with alien movies because this one was just too WTH for me.

Escape Plan - A well executed one!

Escape Plan is a man's movie.  It's full of fist fights, gunfire, Stallone, and Arnold.  I'm not a man, but I loved it!  I think everyone in the theater did.  Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are definitely getting old, but they don't seem to let that stop them, and in this movie, you won't really care.

Escape Plan is a clever movie about a clever man named Ray Breslin, played by Stallone, who breaks out of prisons for a living in an effort to help these prisons fix these cracks in their security.  He is hired by the FBI to attempt to break out of a private prison that is off the radar and holds the deadliest of the deadliest.  While inside, Breslin begins to realize there is more to the story, and with the help of Rottamayer, Arnold's character, they devise an escape plan.

Stallone's face looks like his figure at the wax museum and Arnold looks slightly dashing with grey hair, but with the age and many years of acting you would think that both's skills as actors would have improved, but to no avail.  That's ok; the speed at which this movie moves, you really won't mind just like you weren't bothered when you saw Terminator 50, Rocky 100, or Rambo 3000.

Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, Jim "Jesus" Caviezel, and Sam "The Cardinal" Neil will have to be the eye candy and the best actors on the screen.  Yes, I'm putting Fitty in the field of one of the better actors in the movie.  As soon as he can fully open his mouth, he'll be a damn fine actor.  Jim plays Warden Hobbs, and him as a bad guys is very interesting and intriguing.  He plays a nasty evil cunning villain, and I liked it!  I typically do have a thing for the bad guy.

Look, is this a cinematic work of art?  No, but will you be entertained?  Heck yeah!  Escape Plan played well on the things we like about an action movie, and the things we expect to see in a Stallone and Schwarzenegger film.  People fight, guns shoot, there's blood, and Arnold says something classic.  This movie was well executed, even if the escape plan was not.  Go see it.  You'll enjoy it!!!

12 Years a Slave - 12 reasons to watch

I really have to stop watching slave movies and black oppression movies for awhile.  It is too gut-wrenching for me.  I always find myself thanking God that I wasn't born during that time, and asking for forgiveness towards those that did harm back then and now.  It puts me in a state that only a drink, food, or a comedy can change.  The movie, 12 Years a Slave, is no different.  It definitely had me feeling some type of way, but I'm glad I saw it.  So will you, and here's 12 reasons why:

12.  The story is a little different than other slave stories we've seen.  Instead of Africans being kidnapped and sold into slavery, Solomon Northup, an America and free black man, was kidnapped in Washington, DC and sold into slavery.  Because he was born free and never experienced slavery, he had a tougher time assimilating.  He knew who he was, were he was, and he was more willing to fight back than a stranger in a strange land where everyone is speaking a strange language.

11.  It's based on a true story.  I typically don't like movies based on a true story because now I can just google it and find out how it ends which is why I'm not eager to see the Captain Phillips movie.  The difference here is that we rarely get a first hand account of what slavery was like.  These days it's some white man's Hollywood interpretation.  No thanks, I'll pass.  But, I really got a sense of how tough this was for him and some of the struggles when you are born free rather than born a slave.

10.  It's directed by a black man, Steve McQueen, and Lord knows we need more of them out there so that we can have quality movies on the market featuring quality black acting.  Raise your hand if you're over Madea and Tyler Perry.

9.  We have to support good black movies, and this is one of them.  There was no coonery or befoolery; just strong black men and women fighting to stay alive.

8.  The list of phenomenal actors in this movie is quite lengthy.  Chiwetel Ejiofor is the lead actor as Solomon, and his emotions are so gripping, you will have to fight back the tears and keep yourself from cheering.  This movie also star Alfre Woodard, Paul Giamonte, scene stealer Michael Fassbender, Brad Pitt, Sarah Paulson, and new comer to the American film, Lupita Nyongo.

7.  The last two women on this list are just amazing as their portrayals as the slave owner's wife and the slave he fancies.  Sarah Paulson as Mary Epps was not having it.  She did not want her husband sleeping with the negras as she called it.  Lupita Nyongo is the beautiful and extra chocolaty Patsey.  Master Epps has a thing for Patsey, and can't keep his hands off of her.  She hates every second.  Patsey can't stand how much the wife despises her because of her husband, and she doesn't want to deal with his torture and rape.  It was great to get those point of views for once.

6.  Did I meantion Brad Pitt is in this movie?  He is scruffy and extremely yummy looking.  Too bad he's only on the screen for about 10 minutes.  That'll be enough for most.

5.  The slave fights back.  There isn't a lot of revenge killing like in Django, but Solomon, aka Pratt, fights back.  We all love it when the slave says, "oh hell no," grabs the whip, and whips the overseer.  You have that collective cheering in the movie.  That'll pick you up after watching a man get beat for absolutely no reason.

4.  It'll make you want to read the book.  I'm sure the book is better as they usually are, but I really am intrigued and eager to add the autobiography, Twelve Years a Slave, to my Kindle.

3.  This was a well directed and well acted movie.  The movie, 12 Years a Slave, is long, about 2 and half hours, but it's worth it.  At first I thought it was a little slow, but the pace was necessary to get in all of the information and help your form attachments to the characters.

2.  It's moving and thought-provoking.  This movie really makes you think about how it can take just one person to change things and make a difference.  It really takes you through droves of emotions.  Bring the tissues because if you are the sensitive type, you'll need them.

1.  It's just a good movie.  It has the whole package:  interesting plot, great acting and directing, and a story that moves you.  It's a definitely a must see, but again I think I'm down for something a little more light, fun, or ridiculously stupid and scary after this.

Baggage Claim - Catch the next flight

Ever wondered what a poorly written Jennifer Aniston type movie would be like with a cast of colorful yummy black men and a marginally cute chick as the lead?  Yeah well, me either, but that's basically what you get in Baggage Claim.

Baggage Claim starring Paula Patton, aka Robin Thicke's high wifey, is about a flight attendant named Montana who's mother puts so much pressure on her to get married.  With the help of her friends, they come up with this ridiculous plan to get a proposal before her younger sister's wedding by circumventing all flights that her former boyfriends are on to try and spark something new with each one. Montana eventually discovers what she really wants for herself and realizes her Mr. Right is closer than she thought.  I know.  I said it was ridiculous.  I mean, are we really supposed to believe that an ex is going to propose after one brief meeting?  Are we really supposed to believe that Paula Patton can carry a whole movie by herself?

With all the sexiness on the screen, this movie had potential.  The first to grace our eyes is our favorite black german, Boris Kodjoe.  We all know he's not the best actor, but who cares.  That man is foine!  He has limited lines and has a short stint on screen, but that's ok with me.  At least we get to see him in his skivvies.  Next we get the chocolaty Derek Luke, as William Wright, the next door neighbor and childhood friend dating Christina Milian's character, Taylor.  Trey Songz is up next, and although his true sexuality is constantly questioned, he's sexiness is not.  I was proud of his acting although his role wasn't a far stretch from his real life, but his scene made me laugh, and I loved seeing him all soaped up in the hot tube.  Then there was that perfect smile from Taye Diggs.  I didn't feel his character was much of a stretch from who he truly is.  He played a republican running for Congress who loves being in control and loves his dog, Juicy, more than being a good human being.  Diggs is nice to gaze upon, but I would never want to date him.  Lastly, Djimon Hounsou is the seemingly perfect african suitor.  He's handsome, wealthy, and wants to show Montana the world.  He can show me whatever he likes.  Ok!

Paula Patton is the huge problem with this movie.  I don't see the appeal that the men see.  She's kinda funny looking to me.  I think her neck looks like she's a linebacker for the 49ers (Forever Faithful), and her weird facial expressions took away from some of her beauty.  It didn't help that everyone in the movie had horrible make-up jobs.  She also seemed to over act, and wasn't ever convincing.  I found it sad that EVERYONE else acted better than she did, even the singers (Jill Scott, Trey, and Christina).  This might explain why we haven't seen much of her over the years.  She's just really not that good.

Jennifer Lewis is Montana's mom.  I really wish she would play a different character for once.  Lauren London is the little sister and Terrence J is her fiance.  He has such a baby face that his character is only a sophomore in college.  Nephew Tommy and LaLa Anthony round out this cast of color; both have very limited rolls and very few lines, like a total of 5.  And, although the cast is semi-star studded and there were a few laugh-out-loud moments, Baggage Claim should be lost with all the luggage at the airport.  It's too predictable and feels like something you've seen before and done better, so just catch the next flight.

Prisoners - Now that's how you make a thriller!!

I don't rave about most movies.  I either think they are bad, ok, or good enough.  It's rare that I think something is great or amazing.  Prisoners starring Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, Viola Davis, and Terrence Howard is great and amazing!!!  I was on the edge of my seat, literally.

Prisoners is a crime-thriller about two families searching for their missing daughters.  They believe that the girls have been kidnapped by a young man with the IQ of a 10 year old because the girls were seen playing on his RV.  When the police have to let him go, the father of one of the girls (Jackman) decides to get answers on his own.  Meanwhile, the detective on the case (Gyllenhaal), discovers multiple clues that eventually leads to the truth.  That truth is as twisty and winding as the mazes that are ever present throughout the movie.

The answer is right in front of your face, but because there are so many emotions displayed by all of these fantastics actors, you can often over-look it.  We all know that Viola Davis is a fantastic actress which is evident here, but Hugh Jackman is the clear scene stealer.  His emotions are so raw and real that you feel his anger, his sadness, his fear, his need to protect, and his desire to find his daughter.  Terrence Howard is the other father, but he is the saddened, weary father who really doesn't know what to do or how to help.  He's kind of a punk.  I wanted to shake him and tell him to sack up.  Maria Bello plays Jackman's wife.  She's so distraught that she spends the majority of the movie drugged up and asleep.  Understandable.  Jake Gyllenhaal's character as the detective on this case struggles with finding the girls, keeping the parents from wilding out, and getting answers to the many clues that really make no sense until you see them all together.

Suspense and unexpected twist really take this thriller to the next level.  I truly enjoyed the raw emotions, the perfect plot, the incredible actors, and the movie as a whole.  They don't make great movies like this anymore.  There weren't any huge explosions, or sci-fi creatures, big car chase scenes, or tons of gun play.  It was a simple movie about how two families react to the kidnapping of their daughters, and how the detective on the case handles it.  But, it wasn't a simple situation by any means. It was a thriller like no other.

Riddick - I Am Riddick

It's hard to carry a movie all by yourself.  Will Smith did it in I Am Legend, but can Vin Diesel do it?   What do you think?  Ok, so Vin Diesel (I can't just call him Vin.  It's weird to me for some reason.) reprises his best role as Riddick.  I love the character of Riddick.  Yes he's vicious, murderous, solitary, and mostly uncaring, but there's something about his strength and athleticism that is mesmerizing.  Does that mean I want to see him solely on the big screen for about 45 minutes?  What do you think?

Riddick is the third major motion picture for this character.  In Pitch Black, he had to get off a planet while fighting killer beings, containing a merc (bounty hunter) from trying to kill him, and take some people along with him.  In The Chronicles of Riddick (my fav), Riddick has to not only take down the Necromongers, he also has to get off a super hot planet to do it before he's turned into ashes.  In Riddick, he has to once again, get off a planet, fight off mercs, and do so while fighting off murderous creatures.  Way to be original David Towhy.

Vin Diesel isn't a great actor which is why his dialogue is always limited.  I guess they thought he's so terrible now and out of shape that we won't give him anyone to talk to except an evolutionized dog for the first third of the movie.  Look, I did like watching Riddick prove how strong and resilient he is and make friends with a dog which was very I Am Legend like too, but the truth is, we came to watch him slice and dice folks.  You need people to do that.  Right?  I didn't appreciate having to wait so long for that to happen, almost two-thirds of the movie.  I, also, didn't appreciate the repetitiveness of the story.  I will say that when Riddick does get down to it, he does it like no other.  Those action scenes were great and gory, but again it wasn't anything we haven't already seen him do.

The Chronicles of Riddick had such a complex storyline, and think they were trying to go for that again, but it didn't work.  This movie wasn't a fail, it just wasn't a pass. SPOILER ALERT BUT NOT REALLY: In over two hours, Riddick only kills about 6 people, and it ends pretty much the way the others do.  I'm just hoping this was the last we'll see of Riddick.  I hope he finally makes it to Furya, and has several seats while he's there.

You're Next - Should be Who's Next?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love a bad arse chick in a movie.  I love a girl who isn't dependent upon a man to get the job done, to rescue her, or to protect her from the villain.  It's not necessary.  We're not all damsels in distress.   Erin, played by Sharni Vinson a small time Australian actress, is the kick arse type of female in the movie You're Next, and proves she can handle things herself.

Simply, You're Next is about a wealthy family being terrorized and picked off one by one by animal masked marauders.  The only hitch in their murderous plan is Erin, the girlfriend of one of this families' sons.  She has some very interesting survival instincts which slows them down, and she fights back until the very end.  At one point, I thought she was gonna be like who's got next?  Instead of them picking her off, she took them down, one by one.

This movie is action packed, a little unpredictable, very bloody, and slightly gory.  I loved it!  Breath holding and pulse racing, it had me cheering and laughing at the seemingly beauty at which Erin beats the life out of folks.  Why this is happening is unsurprising, but who's behind it all is not.  I love that I was shocked when the culprit was revealed because although the answer ran across my mind, I didn't want to believe it, and neither will you.  I totally would watch this again and pick up a few more survival techniques.  I just hope I'm never in a situation where dudes are shooting at me with crossbows and trying to hack off my head with a machete.  If so, I hope I could be as tough as Erin, and be like naw fools you're next.

Next week:  Vin Diesel reprises is best role as Riddick, and I can NOT wait!

Kick Ass 2 - Where super nerds go to meet...

I'm sure most of you are not going to go see Kick Ass 2, and I'd understand why, but if you want some mindless humor and light-hearted comedy then give it a try.  I have the first one on dvd because I thought it was a really clever message behind a very cute movie.  I can't say Kick Ass 2 is quite as cute, but the clever message is still the same.

Kick Ass 2 stars Aaron Taylor-Johnson as the home-made super hero, Kick Ass, who is trying to figure out how who he is when he's not being a super hero who has inspired many others to join rank.  Chloe Grace Moretz is Hit Girl, a young bad arse super hero who is mourning her father, Big Daddy, trying to be a normal teenager, and discovering her purpose in life without the mask.  Jim Carrey is Colonel Stars and Stripes, and he helps Kick Ass get a group of super heros together to take down the riff raff of New York City.  The king of the the riff raff, home-made super Villian, The MotherF*cker, is set on revenge against Kick Ass who killed his father.  The MFer is played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse, the nerd in Superbad.  John Leguizamo and Morris Chestnut round out this quirky cast.

This isn't a great movie by any means, but it is action-packed, gory, inspirational, nerdy, and funny.  I can't say that I liked it as much as the original.  No big surprise there.  At one point, I said to myself this is the corniest, dorkiest, nerdiest movie, but I'd watch it again if nothing else was on tv.  You may want to wait until it comes on tv, but when it does, check it out, and let your inner super nerd fly free.

The Butler - 2 Different Views

The plight of the black American has been long, hard, and rough.  Our history has been a painful one; our present is painful yet less daunting than our past, and our future, although still troublesome, is hopeful, at least to me it is.  The movie, The Butler, gives 2 different perspectives of black history. Based on a true story, one view is that of Cecil Gains, a butler to 8 different presidents in the White House, and the second is that of his son, Louis Gaines.  Louis is a young man who goes from being a Freedom Rider to a Black Panther to a Congressional contender.

Cecil Gaines is played magnificently by Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker, and Louis Gaines is played by David Oyelowo.  Cecil's wife is played by Oprah Winfrey who, despite my reservation, did a fantastic job.  She is a loving mother, a cheating wife, and a rough and tough drunk.  I've heard that she may get an Academy nomination, and I'd be ok with that as long as Forest does too.  There are other huge names in this move who play their roles fantastically:  Robin Williams as Eisenhower, Jane Fonda as Nancy Reagan, Liev Schreiber as Johnson, John Cusack as Nixon as well as Cuba Gooding Jr, Mariah Carey who does ugly very well, Terrence Howard, and Lenny oh-so-sexy Kravitz just to name a few.

Lee Daniels, the director, does an excellent job of showing how a black man brought up in a cotton field in Georgia sees America versus one who was raised in the suburbs of DC.  Cecil was just trying to make a better life for his family by working hard with pride and elegance.  Louis was trying to make a better country for all black people through sit-ins and protests.  He spends countless nights in jail with other Freedom Riders and Black Panthers including his on-again off-again girlfriend played by Yaya DaCosta from America's Next Top Model.  She makes a fantastic transformation.  At one point, she serves Angela Davis realness to the point of forgetting who she truly is.

I was deeply moved by Forest Whitaker's portrayal of Cecil Gaines; his devotion to his job and his family.  I was vividly reminded of the struggle, the pain, the dedication those young people went through for black Americans like me to be treated equally and fairly.  The Butler is a great movie giving you two different ways of seeing a tough time for a tough group of people.  Good job Lee Daniels, Forest Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey, David Oyelowo, Louis Gaines, and Cecil Gaines.

Fruitvale Station - Enough is enough

I'm a little late going to see Fruitvale Station, but it's not from a lack of trying.  I almost gave up trying, and was going to wait, but I'm glad I didn't because this movie was excellent and a must see by everyone.  **SPOILER ALERT**Fruitvale Station is based on the true story of the death of young innocent 22-year-old, Oscar Grant, who was shot by a California Police officer in the back after a night celebrating New Years with his girlfriend and friends.  The incident was caught on video camera back in 2009.  The movie depicts his last day alive and the events leading up to his death.

Oscar Grant is played by Michael B. Jordan who does a wonderful job playing the struggling young man trying to do the right thing by his girlfriend, his little girl, and his family.  Mr. Jordan has been working steadily since 1999, and after his performance, we may see him around a lot longer.  Academy Award Winner, Octavia Spencer, plays Wanda Grant, Oscar's mother.  She's the matriarch of the family and shows the struggle of being a single mom trying to raise a black man.  She's phenomenal!  The movie is great not because of the cinematography or the action or all of that other stuff that people rave about in movies, but because of the simplicity of the story, and the ease at which it shows how this simple man easily lost his promising life.  (Any life is promising despite your mistakes at 22.)

I don't like getting political or playing the race card, but after the Treyvon Martin verdict, political and racial emotions are running high.  Fruitvale Station only further those strong feelings about how young black men are treated in this country and how little their lives are valued.  I boohooed during this movie and I can usually fight back the tears during a movie, but I'm just so tired of the injustice and the carelessness of the lives of black men.  At one point in the movie, Wanda Grant was praying for the life of her son, and I found myself through the tears praying for my brothers and all the black men I see on the streets every day.  I even asked God how much longer will we be persecuited and treated unfairly because of the color of our skin.  The black man's life has never meant anything since the first time an African was taken from his home to become a slave here in America.  Enough is enough and maybe movies like Fruitvale Station and public trials like Treyvon Martin's will help bring awareness to this problem.  I'm hopeful and doubtful at the same time but when I see the white lady next to me crying just as much as I was, I feel it is possible.  Some people just aren't aware of the injustice because they refuse to see it.  We will have to work together to stop it, and it won't happen overnight.  More movies like Crash, Fruitvale Station, and other racially charged movies will help.

2 Guns - 2 Good

2 truths:
As a black woman, I'm supposed to think Denzel is the end all to be all in good looking black actors.  Truth is, he's alright.  Although he looks very hood handsome in this movie with his fedora, gold teeth, and silk shirts, there's many more handsome men out there.  Sadly, they aren't on the big screen or the small one for that matter.  Denzel is also getting older and has an old man's body which I really don't want to see.  He just doesn't do it for me, and if you are honest with yourself, you'd agree with me.
2.  Ever since Denzel won his oscar for Training Day, Denzel is always getting called for the n*gga role (my black friends will understand what I mean).  Truth is, he never plays a role with diversity or complexity anymore.  Malcolm X was the last role of interest for me (until now), and I've seen damn near every movie he's made since X.  Mr. Washington needs to get on that Morgan Freeman (who's played God), Will Smith agenda, and play roles that aren't defined by race before Idris Elba, my husband who I feel is much better looking and way sexier, takes his crown.

2 stars:
The movie 2 Guns stars Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington.  They compliment each other greatly in this movie about 2 undercover law enforcement agents with separate agendas.  Their comedic timing is perfect.  It felt like they've been working together on and off the screen.  I would definitely love to see then together again in a sequel or something else.

2 stories:
There's the story of these two trying to take down a mexican drug lord, and there's also the story of them trying to figure out who framed them for robbery, why, and who each of them really are.  All of these are intertwined really well.  The average movie goer will constantly be guessing and trying to figure things out; I, of course, figured out everything about 1 hour into the action.

2 countries:
Mexico and Texas (I know Texas is a state, but it's huge enough to be it's own country and it is in the USA so it's the second country) are the background for this movie.  There's lot's of border crossing to make one's feet hurt.  The plot also throws in a government conspiracy about how Mexican drug lords keep getting drugs into the US.  This Texas girl was proud to see all those Texas license plate, and a movie full of Texans that don't sound like country hicks.  Good job Mr. Director (Baltasar Kormakur)!

2 Chainz:
No, 2 Chainz isn't in this movie.  I just ran outta 2s.  I went into this movie thinking it was gonna suck.  The previews don't look that great.  I only went to see it because I knew yall were gonna want to know my thoughts.  Surprisingly, I loved it!  It had great action, Paula Patton's boobs (that one is for the fellas), lot's of gun play, drama, and comedy.  What more could you ask for in a movie.  I'd see it again and again (may add it to my dvd collection).  Thanks for being my motivation.  I saw a great one because of yall.

Red 2 - Old people acting silly and killing folks!

If you haven't seen the movie Red, check your tv listings and get on it.  It is an hilariously entertaining spy movie starring Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, Helen Merrin, and John Malkovich.  Red 2 picks up where Red left off: dodging bullets and crack skulls.

Red 2 brings back the original killer cast and adds Catherine Zeta-Jones, Anthony Hopkins, and Lee Byung-hun.  In this sequel, we find that there is a hit out on Frank Moses (Willis) and Marvin (Malkovich) due to some documents that were posted on the internet that says they were involved in weapons of mass destruction plot during the cold war.  The two don't know anything about that, but while running for their lives and trying to protect Frank's girlfriend (Parker), they find out that MI6 has hired their friend, Victoria Winslow (Merrin), to kill them, and the US government has hired Frank's nemesis, Han (Lee), to assassinate them as well.  All sorts of craziness ensues while globetrotting trying to figure out everything, save themselves, and the world from a nuclear boomb created by a insane genius played by Hopkins.

This movie is non-stop action and comedy.  John Malkovich is the comic relief in most scenes, but everyone has their funny moments.  Helen Merrin is such a tough chick and Mary-Louise Parker wants to be one so badly, that you can'd help but laugh at her.  Bruce Willis is on my old man CGI list.  I think it has something to do with the bald head, that soft tone he has in his voice, and his constant need to beat up on people.  I just can't get enough of him.  I think I've seen all of his movies that has come out in the last 15 years.  The great Anthony Hopkins as an insane bad guy isn't a new role, but he's such a great actor that you don't care that he's like Hannibal Lecter on LSD.  Hopkins is funny and a little creepy at the same time.  Red 2 is a very silly movie, but it's mix of high flying stunts, gun play, and comedy really keep you entertained.  I enjoyed it, and although I don't like movie series, I'd be glad to see a Red 3.

The Wolverine - Ninja vs Mutant...Let's GO!!!

I'm a huge fan of all the X-men movies.  Of course X-men Origins-Wolverine is my favorite.  How could it not be with Hugh Jackman at the helm?  The Wolverine, is the sequel to that movie and kinda the fourth in the X-men series as it follows Logan on his journey to rediscover his purpose in life after the death of Jean Grey/The Phoenix in X-men: The Last Stand.

Logan/Wolverine played by Jackman is sent to Japan to say his last goodbyes to someone he saved from death decades earlier.  This man, Ichirō Yashida, is dying of cancer and wants to give Wolverine mortality as a thank your for what he did for him years ago.  The Wolverine is immortal and wants to die to be with Jean Grey, or so he thinks.  After Yashida dies, all the action begins as Logan tries to save Yashida's granddaughter from those who would try to kill her for reasons he doesn't understand.  

The plot is a little thick, but understandable.  It moves quickly, and keeps you interested.  The 2 hours and 6 minutes of movie is full of twist and turns that you can kinda see coming, but you don't really care because it's exciting.  There's a new mutant (one not in previous movies) called Viper.  She's a bad arse chick who has her hands or venom in every plot going on in the movie.  Keep your eyes on her.  I love a tough chick, and there are 3 who kick ninja butt all over this movie.  Makes me want to learn how to use a samurai sword and flip over buildings and people while breaking necks!!!  Doesn't everyone want to do that?

The Wolverine is entertaining.  It's not the greatest movie ever, but I enjoyed it.  I'll probably add it to the collection, but mostly because I like to see Hugh Jackman shirtless and slicing up ninjas.  Doesn't everyone?  Oh, and you don't need to have seen any of the previous movies to understand this one.  You may want to see X-men: The Last Stand just to understand why Logan is so distraught, but if you don't, you'll be ok.  

Pacific Rim - Godzilla on Meth

Haven't you always wanted to know what Godzilla's meth babies would look like?  Watch Pacific Rim.  Pac Rim is a Guillermo del Toro film which if you know his work means lots of action and interesting creatures.  (Some of del Toro's films include Blade 2, Pan's Labyrinth, The Hobbit, Hellboy 2, and Mama.)  This movie stars my husband, Idris Elba, and Charlie Hunnam (yeah, I don't know who he is either).  It is basically a movie about robots, Jaegers, controlled by two individuals who have a vulcan mind meld, or drifting, and try to protect the world from aliens, Kaijus, who come to the planet through a dimension that is in the earth's core.

These Kaijus are like a cross between several different dinosaurs.  In fact, they believe that these aliens were the original dinos, but couldn't handle the atmosphere, so they left until we screwed it up with all of our CO2 emissions into the atmosphere.  The Jaegers are like a cross between gigantic Robocops and morphed Power Rangers.  The fighting between these two are epic and would put the Godzilla versus King Kong battle to shame.  Del Toro must be a huge fan of Godzilla because this movie is very reminiscent of those old movies even going so far as to have a large chunk of the movie being set in Hong Kong.

There's so much action in the movie, that it's often times hard to keep up with some of the fighting scenes.  I did like the hand to hand combat, and the minimal use of guns and bombs.  It was very exciting to see the evolution of the Kaijus, waiting to see what they would do next in battle.  The action is enough to keep you entertained because the acting jobs surely will not.  Idris Elba is one of two A list actors in the movie.  Ron Perlman is the second and has a very small role.  The rest of these new faces have a lot of work to do.  Although somewhat thrilling, Pacific Rim is one of those movies that you should wait to see on tv.  It's just all right; amusing enough to watch on a Sunday afternoon, but I don't know if it was compelling enough to spend the money to see it at the theaters even if you are intrigued by Godzilla's meth babies.

The Lone Ranger - Was Johnny enough?

The Lone Ranger is a movie based on a fictional character from a 1930's radio show which became a tv show and several feature films.  The only thing I remember about the tv show was that it was in black and white.  I'm not really into westerns, so it didn't peak my interest.  That is probably why this is the first of the films that I've seen as well.  The only thing that peaked my interest this time is Johnny Depp as Tonto.  I'm not sure if he was enough for me to say this was a good movie.

Before I go any further, let me first say that I'm not so sure that this movie should be rated PG13.  There was a lot of violence, blood (I mean dude cut out and ate someone's heart!), prostitutes, decapitations, cross dressing and slightly confused villains (not that there's anything wrong with drag queens), and lots and lots of death.  Although it wasn't gory, I just thought some of the subject matter should have caused the rating to be a bit higher.  But I digress...

Johnny Depp is the only reason I wanted to see The Lone Ranger.  I've been a fan of his since 21 Jump Street, and having Helena Bonham Carter in the movie (those two must be a package deal because they are in everything together and I love it) was a bonus to me.  I don't know who Armie Hammer is, and this movie didn't really make me want to either even though he's the star of the show as The Lone Ranger.  Mr. Depp was his usual quirky self which of course kept this sort of dark film, light, but he wasn't enough to make the movie a really good movie.

A large part of the problem is that the storyline is really really dark and kind of disturbing.  After John Reid, his brother, and all the other Texas Rangers are murdered, John decides to get justice with the help of a spirit horse and Tonto.  He becomes the Lone Ranger in the process.  On top of that, the "white man" is trying to take land from the Comanche Indians to build a railroad through their land for commerce and profit.  Not to mention, there is lots of murder of Indians for the sake of mining pure silver with the blood, sweat, and tears of asians help  Oh, and there's that sadistic cannibalistic villain who is orchestrating all of this.  Doesn't that sound like a Disney movie?  Well, it is.  This movie really tells part of the tale of how the native American population was decimated for money and land, and how sad that is.  It's really hard to laugh when all of this it happening.

This movie isn't bad, but it isn't good.  It's just, alright.  You will laugh a little and some of the action is good, but I just couldn't get past the underlining story.  It could just be me.  You can go see it for yourself, but remember how Will Smith's Wild Wild West was?  You could have gone your whole life without seeing that western, and you can go your whole life without seeing this one, and you'll be just fine.  Don't get sucked in my Johnny Depp.  He's just not enough this time.

Despicable Me 2 - Definitely Cute

Despicable Me is one of my all-time favorite animated movies, second only to The Lion King!  Those darn minions are just too darn cute and funny.  I really hope after Despicable Me 2, they get their own movie because at one point, I laughed so hard at them I cried.  What makes them so adorable and hilarious?  Is it because they are yellow?  Because they speak some strange french Klingon?  Or is it because their comedic timing is always just right on point?  Whatever the reason is, they steal the show.  

As to not give away too much, in this sequel Gru (Steve Carrell) has given up being a villain, but the Anti-Villan League, the AVL, needs his help to find a villain that has stolen a drug that turn minions into indestructible killers.  He's been teamed up with Lucy (Kristen Wiig) from the AVL to help solve the case.  In the meanwhile, everyone is trying to hook Gru up with a date especially his 3 girls because the super cute Agnes needs a mom.  And, the answer to both of these situations is right in front of them.  

It was really going to be hard to top the first one, and I'm not so sure they tried.  I think the powers that be said, "let's just stick to the same formula and make a funny movie."  Which, I think they did.  The storyline, albeit extremely predictable, was easy to follow for young and old, was fast paced as to not lose the kids' interests, and reinvented some of the old jokes.  I think everyone enjoyed themselves.  The kids laughed at the slapstick comedy, and the adults laughed at the youthfulness of the movie and the little adult innuendoes.  There was a minion dressed as Issac from "The Love Boat", and in their layer, there was stripper pole.  Kids wouldn't get that, but I found it extremely comical!

I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I'd watch it again and again like I do the first one, and I'll probably add this one to my dvd collection like I did the first one.  Honestly, it's better than Monsters University to me.  Go see it.  Take the kids, or not.   Whatever you do, be ready to laugh at all those cute little minions from the beginning until the credits are almost finished rolling. 

White House Down - Action, Comedy, Channing, and Jamie

Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx make and excellent duo as evident in their appearance on Jimmy Kimmel after the Oscars.  See video above.  I had no doubt that a movie with them together would be great, and I wasn't disappointed.  White House Down is a moving starring Tatum and Fox.  It's full of action, comedy, and sexy.

Channing Tatum is one of the sexiest men on any screen anywhere.  Very high on the CGI list.  (Sorry ladies, his clothes stay on, but he is in a wife-beater for the majority of the movie.) While he's not the best actor on the planet, he definitely is improving, and I don't mind watching him while he learns to get it right.   Tatum plays an aspiring Presidential Secret Service agent who happens to be at the White House during an attack with his political savvy 11-year-old daughter.  He's on a mission to find her because they get separated, save the President, and his country.  This isn't usually the type of movie Channing does.  He's normally in dramas, feel-good movies, and movies where he's half naked.  Now he can add action-movie star to his credentials.

Jamie Foxx is not hard on the eyes either, although his make-up is terrible in White House Down.  It took away a little of his sexy.  Moving on...he's an Academy Award winning actor, Grammy winning singer, and an hilarious award winning comedian.  This isn't his best acting by any means, but he gets to be the President, and who doesn't want to play that role?  Foxx plays the 47th POTUS, who is in the White House when it's attacked by lunatics.  He too, has to find his inner action-hero to get out of the situation and stop someone from trying to start WW3.

Other famous faces are seen in the movie such as Maggie Melting Face Gyllenhaal, head secret service agent; Richard Jenkins, Speaker of the House; and James Woods, head of the President's detail just to name a few.  They all play key roles in the film, but no one is really looking at them because it's all about Tatum, Foxx, and the little girl (Joey King) playing Tatum's daughter, Emily.  She's a little scene stealer.  Emily is one tough cookie who saves the day.  SOILER ALERT:  Yes, an 11 year-old will actually be the hero.

I like movies with non-stop action, and White House Down definitely delivers.  It has moments of comedy, the storyline is plausible, and there are two unlikely heroes that make you smile deep down inside.  You really do leave feeling good at the end.  Olympus Has Fallen is still the best of the White House destruction movies, but because I want to Channing all over your Tatum, I'll put White House Down in a distant second.  I enjoyed it, and I think man or woman, you will too.

Monsters University - It barely gets a passing grade

Pixar and Disney has been a great combination for the last decade when it comes to making great movies such as Toy Story and Monsters Inc, but I'm not so sure if the dynamite duo did it this time with Monsters University.  Monsters University is the prequel to Monsters Inc starring Billy Crystal and John Goodman as the monsters Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan.  This movie tells the story of how the two met, formed their unbreakable bond, and become the leading scarer team at Monsters Inc.

My major problem with the movie is the length.  With previews it's slightly over two hours long.  That's a long time for a kids movie.  The storyline is also quite slow, so slow my mom fell asleep a couple of times and I almost did too.  There was a huge chunk of the movie I felt could have been cut out.  I understand that it laid a foundation, but it could have been done in a more condensed fashion to get to the more entertaining part.

I'm sure the adult audience wasn't that entertained.  Everyone, except my grandmother who said she liked it, looked like they were ready for a nap.  The kids appeared intrigued, but I didn't hear a lot of giggles and laughter from them.  The storyline was a bit adult with bullying, fraternity life, life changes,  and such.  I'm not so sure if the kids really got it.  There weren't a lot of jokes or slapstick comedy, so that didn't help with kid's enjoyment.  They just kind of stared at the screen and waited for it to end.

Monsters University passes with a C-.  It didn't live up to the greatness of Monsters Inc and what Pixar and Disney is capable of doing.  I actually like the short film before the movie called The Blue Umbrella.  It was really cute, and much more entertaining.

White House Down next week starring I wanna Channing all over you Tatum and Jamie Foxx!

World War Z - The Zombie Apocalypse is no joke.

I'm really not into zombie movies.  I find them kinda dumb.  The idea of the ravenous undead seems quite unreal to me, but something about World War Z intrigued me.  Maybe is was the very handsome Brad Pitt. (I never really thought he was that good looking, but maybe the long hair, unshaven beard, zombie fighter did something to me.)  Maybe it was the storyline or the theatrics.  Who knows?  But, what I do know is that I'm glad I saw this movie because ish got real in this one!

World War Z is about a former UN detective who tries to protect his family and the world by trying to find out where the zombie virus began in order to find a cure.  He travels all over the world while watching zombies quickly destroy it.  In the end, her finds an answer to the problem, and the world is spared from destruction...for now (hoping for a sequel and I don't even like sequels).  This movie is based on a book of the same name.  Both delve into what part we play as a people that causes this, and if we'd listened to one another at the beginning, could this virus be contained?  Those deep thoughts don't linger in the movie because there is so much action going on that you don't have time to breath, let alone think.  

I love movies that are action packed from jump!  This movie is one of those, and the action never stops until the credits role.  It's fast-paced, exciting, and serious yet fun.  The zombies take over New York and Israel in a matter of minutes which makes me think, what would I do if the Zombie Apocalypse popped off today?  All I can say is be ready, but if it goes down anything like it did in World War Z, we are NOT going to be!  Go see this movie.  I think you'll like it, and afterwards, get your ammo ready because the Zombie Apocalypse is no joke!

Monsters University tomorrow with mi Madre!!!

Man of Steel - Do we really need yet another Superman movie?

Since 1951, there have been seven Superman movies.  My inner geeky fat boy has seen five out of the seven, and at this point, he doesn't really feel the need to see another one, but I did.  Man of Steel is the last installment of this overly done superhero movie.  It stars a very handsome Henry Cavill and Amy Adams.  I'll just let you know from jump that I didn't like Man of Steel, but I'm also one of the few who didn't like The Avengers.  They are very similar movies, so it's not surprising that I wasn't entertained.

Too much of this and that: Man of Steel is 2 hours and 23 minutes long.  Not to mention the 15 to 20 minutes of previews.  That's almost three hours at the theater which is way too long.  This movie is way too slow for us to be sitting there for so damn long.  It had way too many flashbacks as well.  They should have just went in chronological order.  It may have sped up the movie a bit.  It's almost 2 hours before the real action starts.  Imagine a theatre full of pre-teens trying to sit still for 2 hours before anyone starts fighting.  A scary thought, I know.  It's tough because it started out so well giving us a little action at the beginning and then nothing for at least 90 minutes; just a lot of backstory.   The story itself wasn't new, but I liked the sci-fi spin on the theatrics.  A little less backstory and flashbacks, and more action, and this movie is salvageable.

Talk about all-star cast:  Maybe they called in the big guns because they knew the story wasn't great.  Henry Cavill is Kal-El.  I need to see more of him because he's a good actor and very easy on the eyes.  He looked great in the suit to say the least.  Amy Adams and her horrible pig nose is Lois Lane.  She's a great actress who really needs a nose job.  (I can't be the only one bothered by it.)  Kevin Costner and Diane Lang are Mr. and Mrs. Kent.  Russell Crow is Jor-El, and Laurence Fishborn is Perry.  Wow!  I know.  The cast budget must have been out of control.  They'll at least make that back in ticket sales today.  Too bad all that star power wasn't enough to make this good.

The bad arse:  I love a great villain.  He or she is often more important to me than the hero.  Henceforth, I need the person cast to be on point.  Michael Shannon has made of career of being a bad guy.  He is perfection as General Zod, a man hell bent on restoring Krypton at Earth's expense to his likeness down to his last breath. But, even better than him, is side chick, Faora.  Love her.  I love a bad bish, and this chick didn't play.  Her putting a beating on fools was my favorite part of the movie.  Sadly, there wasn't enough of her kickin' arse and taking names.

The suit:  There's nothing more iconic in our society than Superman's blue and red suit with that red cape.  I'm gonna get really girls here and say it was a great suit, and super cute.  Henry looked really good in it.  The design was very masculine.  I would have loved it without the cape, but I understand why it was necessary.  I liked the direction they went with the red and blue.  It was modern, yet it paid homage to the classic.  Nice job there.

The Truth:  This will be the number one movie at least for a week.  The theater was packed and sold out at least until the late night show.  But, just because a movie is full doesn't make it good.  Man of Steel was just too slow and lacking action.  I won't need to see it again, but you go see it and decide for yourself.  I just feel like, if you've seen one Superman movie, you've seen them all.

Next week: World War Z (Brad Pitt gotta work to pay for all them damn kids.)

Now You See Me - A Magical Movie

It's a rare movie that dupes me in the end.  I usually have if figured out long before the halfway point.  This time, I was playing with the right deck, I'd just picked the wrong card.  Now You See Me is a movie that keeps you guessing until the end.  Everyone always watches magic and says or thinks, "how'd they do that?"  But, that's not what you will be doing while watching this movie; you'll be trying to figure out who's really running the show and why?

Now You See Me is a clever movie about 4 street magicians who are mysteriously brought together, and a year later go from crap magic to being huge Las Vegas stars known as The Four Horsemen.  Merritt (Woody Harrelson) is a mentalist/hypnotist who is great at guessing people's secrets.  Then there's J. Daniels Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg) who is a natural born leader and performs classic magic, slight of hand type tricks.  Henley, J. Daniels' former assistant turned show stopper, played by Isla Fischer, is an escape artist.  Lastly, there is the youngster of the group, Jack (Dave Franco), who is a very skilled con artist.  Together, they create large scale magic shows that has the whole world talking.  Their bank robbing magic trick gets the police, FBI, and Interpol involved led by FBI agent Dylan Rhodes played by Mark Ruffalo.  Agent Rhodes together with Interpol agent Alama Vargas (Melanie Laurent) from France rely on the expertise of Morgan Freeman's character, Thaddeus, to try and catch The Four horseman. Thaddeus Bradley is an ex-magician who spills magic secrets to the world via his viral internet show. Oh, and ladies, Common is in the movie too.  His part is small, but he's on the screen long enough to get a good look.

I was greatly intrigued from start to finish.  Like I said, I was still trying to answer the who and why with 20 minutes left.  I'm glad it didn't move so fast.  Sometimes, like Scandal, people are talking too quickly and the action goes so fast that you miss too much to understand what's happening.  This movie is not like that.  There is a lot of action and the magic tricks are cool, but it has a great balance that keeps you entertained.  I liked it enough that I'd watch it again and again.  Now You See Me is a must see.

Next week, The Internship and The Purge are out at theaters.  I'm not sure which one I'll see if either.  But check back here next week.

After Earth - A sci-fi movie about Daddy issues

Will Smith has evolved as an entertainer over the last few decades.  In the 80's, he was a corny rapper with catchy songs.  In the early 90's, he was a goofy tv show star.  In the late 90's, he became one of the biggest movie stars on the planet.  In the 2000's, he became a family man, and now he's doing movies with the family.  He's now done two movies with his son Jaden Smith.  After Earth is their latest movie together, and will probably be Will's least successful.

After Earth, has a somewhat complicated plot.  Humans are on an alien planet after destroying Earth somehow. That wasn't very clear to me, or maybe I just didn't understand what Jaden was saying in his low pre-pubescent voice.  There are peacekeepers who show no fear which is a tool to help them kill the aliens trying to destroy the humans.  This ability to control your fear is called ghosting because it makes you invisible to the aliens.  Will Smith is General Raige of the Peacekeepers, and Jaden Smith is a cadette named Kitai trying so hard to make his father proud and conquer his own fears and demons of the day his sister died.  They get stranded on Earth, a now quarantined planet, after an accident in space, and now Jaden has to find a homing beacon while fighting deadly evolved creatures now inhabiting Earth and other hazards of the planet.  

In truth, there was too much going on in the movie and not enough time to develop all of it.  M. Night Shymalan is a writer and the director, and he does a good job of trying to pull it all together, but the depth of it all was missing.  There was some action, but I found it all to be extremely predictable.  You will figure out how it's going to end about 30 minutes into it.  I was also annoyed by the accent of the characters.  It sounded like a cross between a soft southern drawl and a canadian accent.  Who thought that was a good idea?  Who thought that Jaden was a good enough actor to be in a movie almost all by himself?  Nobody wants to look at that bewildered look of his forehead face for almost 2 hours.  He is no Will Smith and this is not I Am Legend.  And when did The Fresh Prince get so old?  I thought black didn't crack?  Maybe it was the make-up, but it was the first time I didn't find him attractive in the least.  

I'd pass on After Earth if I was you.  I don't think I've ever said that about any Will Smith movie.  Lies! I could have done without MIB 3 too.  I'll be shocked if it's the number one movie this week.  Oh well. Now You See Me is out this weekend too.  I'd go see that instead.  

Fast and Furious 6 - Much more than man candy

Where can you find car chases, car crashes, and car races with bad arse girl fights, gun fights, prison fights, and big guys with beefy muscle fights, plus tough chicks who come back from the dead and mucho man candy?  Look no further than the 6th installment of The Fast and The Furious franchise.  Fast and Furious 6, aka Fast 6, aka Furious 6, is a fast paced, action packed, movie with a plausible story to back up all the excitement.

Let's start with the reason why most women go to see the movie...the man candy.  Fast 6 stars Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne "I don't wanna be The Rock anymore" Johnson, Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Sung Kang, and Luke Evans.  (There's girls too.  I'll get to them later.)  Just about everyone on that list is lick-your-lips yummy.  Vin is Dominic Toretto, the leader of the criminal crew who likes to drive fast cars while stealing money, drugs, or what have you.  He use to be drop dead gorgeous to me, but the more I look at him, the more I notice how he's aging and how tiny his mouth is.  It's just so small for his face.  He looks like a terrible kisser to boot which takes his hot factor down a bit.  Not to mention he's not hitting the weights regularly any more.  He's looking more like Daddy Diesel than Hott Man Dom.

Paul Walker and those sexy blue eyes is Brian O'Conner, former FBI agent turned criminal, who is in a relationship with Dom's sister.  Dwayne Johnson, is the master of the muscle bound man candy who is the law man using Dom's crew to catch the bad guy, but I think he needs to lay off the steroids and weights just a tad bit.  He was looking a little too meaty and it took his sexy down a little...very little.  Tyrese, Mr. Super Sexy Yet Arrogant I Don't Like Black Women Chocolaty Man, is the comic relief as Roman.  He cracks many jokes with his big mouth, and they crack many jokes about him, that big mouth, and his big forehead.  He's oh so very yummy to gaze upon, but he'll never be on the CGI list with that attitude of his.  Luda (nerdy somewhat sexy computer geek), Sung (almost hot asian guy named Han), and Luke (hot bad guy with a scrumptious accent, Owen Shaw) round out the man meat.

All of these guys except Luke appear in at least one of the Fast movies.  It is very necessary to watch all of them or at least have an idea of what happens in each one (ok, well 3 and 4 suck monkey balls so just read about them on Wikipedia or something) because every last movie was referenced in Furious 6.  If you haven't seen any of the movies, you won't understand why they are going through all of this to see Letty (Michelle "My shoulders are ginormous" Rodriguez), and the relationships between Brian & Mia (the super cute Jordana Brewster) and Han & Gisele (the extremely tough Gal Gadot).  They really do a great job of trying to tie all of the movies together, and keeping the story fresh and new.  After five movies, they finally started to get it right.  That's good because there definitely will be a seventh.  The movie kept everyone on the edge of their seats.  There was even a twist that I saw coming but clearly no one else did.  Now, some of the action scenes were outlandish, but very cool nonethless, so I'll give the plausibility a pass.

I must say, I truly enjoyed this one as much as Fast 5 which is the only one that I own on DVD.  I had my reservations about it seeing that it the SIXTH one, and as you all know, I don't think sequels are necessary unless it's a book.  But, and this is a big but, the Fast and Furious series may be an exception to this rule if only for all that yumminess on the screen, and if they keep the storyline interesting.  Go see it.  There's something for everyone to enjoy.

Next week, After Earth and maybe Now You See Me.

The Hangover 3 - The Alan and Chow Show

I know that I have said numerous times in previous posts that I don't watch comedies because they usually aren't funny to me.  There are a few that have slipped under the radar for one reason or another such as Encino Man, Dumb and Dumber, Empire Records, Friday, Step Brothers, and The Hangover.  I don't know why I like (and own on dvd) these movie, but I do.  Lord knows all of these are stupid movies, but they make me smile, giggle, and/or laugh, and I could quote a line or three from each one of these movies.  I'm not sure if The Hangover 3 will make the dvd cut, but it definitely made me smile, giggle, and laugh, and there quite a few quotable moments.

The Hangover 3 is the completion of a trilogy about four guys, otherwise known as the Wolfpack (includes Alan, Phil/Bradley Cooper, Stu/Ed Helms, and Doug/Justin Bartha) who embarked on an insane fiasco two years ago with the innocent intentions of giving their friend an awesome bachelor party in Las Vegas only days before his wedding (the premise of The Hangover).  That bachelor party and it's aftermath was the catalyst to the events of the Hangover 3.  The difference in the two movies, is that the writers capitalized on the two funniest characters from the first movie and made them the star of this show, Alan and Chow.  Alan, played by Zach Galifianakis, is the somewhat clinically insane brother-in-law of Doug from the first movie who inadvertently causes all this trouble.  Leslie Chow, played by Ken Jeong, is the often times naked, drug abuser, bi-sexual, asian criminal who increases the problems of the Wolfpack in more ways than one.  

The plot of the third movie is even more ridiculous than the first two combined.  I don't remember much about the second movie, but I do remember that I didn't think it was funny because the jokes were too similar to the first movie and the storyline was dumb and made no sense.  Don't get me wrong, the storyline in this installment is just a ludicrous, but much more funny and entertaining.  Although not as funny as the first, Alan and Chow do their best to make you laugh.  Almost all the characters from the first movie return including baby "Carlos".  Mike Tyson was one of the only ones not there, but John Goodman (one of my favorite actors) is his replacement as Marshall.  You probably won't remember Marshall from the first one because Black Doug, Mike Epps, only mentions his name once.  We learn who he is and why Black Doug was so afraid of him.  

Do you need to see the first two to understand this third one?  It'd be good because otherwise you will be a little left out, and may feel a little lost.  There are a few flashbacks, but I don't think it'll be enough to get all of the jokes.  If you don't get to see both of them, at least see the first one which is the best one, of course.  You will need a little of that back story anyway.  This movie will make you laugh out loud and is enjoyable.  Be prepared to laugh until you snort, and try not to take the story itself too seriously.  I really hope that this really is the end.  We don't need another because it ended so well and on a funny note which is always a good thing.  

Next movie is Fast 6.  I know I said that last time, but forreal forreal, it's next on my list.